I’m always talking about a son, a little boy that looks like me, that I can teach and mold and show off. I don’t talk about little girls a lot, about having a daughter. It’s not because I’m a chauvinist or because I don’t want a daughter, it’s because the thought of having a little girl scares me to DEATH! I know how much I’ll love her mother so I can only imagine how much I’d be wrapped around her little finger. I can watch my son fall, watch him get up on his own and learn from his mistakes. I don’t think I could ever watch a daughter of mine fall without picking her up and buying her a puppy and ice cream. I don’t talk about that little girl because even though she’s just a thought I’m all about protecting her, even before she gets here.
I write about women a lot, I talked about that last night in a note. But this is the thing, that sexy woman that I can’t wait to take out, that I can’t wait to get the email or text from. The one in the tight dress with the cute smile, guess what…
She wasn’t always the image of perfection for some man, at one point she was a little girl, someone’s daughter. She waited on her father to put the money under the pillow when she lost those teeth, she waited on daddy to kill the bug or to fix the TV. Fathers are the first men women fall in love with, the first man that’s there to protect them or heal them.
Daddies give them lunch money and love them before there’s even the thought of another man. Little girls are innocent, they’re perfect in the sense that men have the ability to raise them to know their worth. Fathers have the ability to teach her that she’s a woman, a lady, that she’s priceless.
Fathers Day is this Sunday and I know a lot of women didn’t grow up with that father in the home like he was supposed to be, this isn’t the Cosby Show. Hell, my dad has 14 kids that I know of and is a drunk so this note isn’t about this perfect world.
But this note is about the men that did right by their little girls and when they did right by those little girls they set the foundation for them to become women with standards and expectations. Women that knew he should open my door and get out and knock when he picks me up instead of blowing the horn because daddy taught me that.
Fathers change oil and get flats fixed when she’s 16 and doesn’t know what’s going on with the car, hands out money and hugs like an ATM.
There is another side to this equation though, not all women have these sorts of fathers in their lives. Some men pass away, some run away and some are just sorry so little girls can grow up seeing the worst in men. Instead of protecting her and her mother he only makes this more difficult. Not working, cheating, lying, and fathering other children that he doesn’t take care of.
Little girls grow up wanting more, needing more, seeking out more from the same men they grew up with. They have to learn the hard way, thru trial and error because there was no man to teach them their true worth. They date assholes or thugs because that’s what they saw, human beings are creatures of habit.
It’s no coincidence that if a girl has a bad relationship with her father she looks to hurt him, to go against him. Not all women… NOT ALL WOMEN! But enough of them. Strippers, crack heads, bad mothers, I’m not saying that they don’t deserve some blame but how many of them had a strong, purposeful, active, happy father in the home?
Black men are letting our little girls down and because of that our women are growing up and not getting married. They have to raise these beautiful little girls on their own or with part time dads.
I know that if God blesses me with a little girl it’s going to be my job to make whatever man that eventually comes for her have to work his ass off! It’s going to be my job to make sure she wants for nothing, to make sure that she see’s the way I treat her mother and wants that for herself. Whether she’s six months, six, sixteen or twenty six she will be able to come to me and ask for help or cry herself to sleep.
She shouldn’t be in awe of a nice restaurant or nice car, she shouldn’t take each compliment like it’s her first. Whether she looks like Kort or Elmo she should still be beautiful in her Fathers eyes and because of that… She’ll wear that confidence with pride!
Little girls love their daddies, they have since the beginning of time and that will never change. If your father is in your life and he molded you, make sure you let him know you appreciate it this weekend. And if he wasn’t there, fuck him! Just make sure you pick the right man to be around your little girl!
Demez F. White