Passion… Intensity… Life…

“Whenever she’s being bad I tell her, ‘Be nice Paris.’ So when I raise my voice she points her little finger at me and says, ‘Be nice mommy.’ All I can do is smile or laugh or hug her, after that it’s impossible to be mad. That little girl makes every day worth living, she’s getting bigger and taller everyday.”

I loved the glow she had in her eyes when she talked about her daughter. The way her tone changed and the features on her face softened. I knew a lot of moms and not all of them did what they did out of love, a lot of it was out of obligation and responsibility. Some of them pawned the child off on a mom or grandmother. But not her, if she was at the mall that little girl was right there in the stroller burning up credit cards with her.

I have this theory, you fall out of lust and into love with someone not because of their physical attributes but because of the person you see them as. Fuck what anyone else thinks or what anyone else see’s, it’s what you see. No matter how good or bad to the outside world, if she’s one of a kind in your eyes she’ll usually always be that.

“So men can’t say no to you and you can’t say no to a three year old? I guess life is ironic like that.” She smiled and took off her coat. Moved her hair from her face. I tried to suck in every detail without being too obvious.

“Apparently some men can say no to me since we’re meeting here right now? What’s going on with you and before you lie to me just know I can hear it in your voice, I see it in your face. Talk to me baby?” This is what I loved and hated about her at the same time, the way that she could see thru me, it was the reason I needed space. Being around her was no good for me, it consumed me. Because she was right, she did know when I was upset or sad or stressed and just seeing her smile, just touching her lips made it all better if even for a moment.

But the problem was it was only for a moment and I would spend the rest of my days waiting for that high again. A high that only she could provide.

“It’s just work stuff, nothing important.” She scooted towards me.

“I asked you not to lie to me, don’t act like you forgot who I am… Now tell me the truth!” Her smile was disarming. She touched me cheek and kissed me. I wanted to stop it, not because I didn’t want it but because I wouldn’t be able to control myself once it started but how can you control passion. How do you put chemistry in a bottle and not let it consume you?

It’s impossible, you can’t…

I could taste the peppermint on her tongue, “Kiss me like you miss me! Don’t fight it!” Her voice was low but the intensity was high.

The intensity was always high so no matter who I tried to get to replace her… I needed that same passion, that same hunger. Some men are driven by compliments or food, I was driven by heat, by moments that created moments that created memories.

Until next time…

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

The lyrics were in the background, totally out of the blue but the song made all the sense in the world.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s