Candy Canes, Mistletoe and Freaky Things… (Explicit Content)

I walked thru the door and to say I was drunk was an understatement, the plane ride from Chicago was like two and a half hours and I hated flying. The only way I made it with my sanity was to get wasted! I was supposed to be home at like eight but my publisher wanted to take me for a drink once the car picked me up so I went. Didn’t want to be a spoiled author even though it was like two days before Christmas. Now walking inside my home, my tie undone, my luggage leaning against the kitchen wall. I was wondering where the hell my wife was?

She wasn’t in the den, I walked to the upstairs lounge room, she wasn’t in there.

“ERICA! ERICA!”

Where the hell was she, both out cars were in the garage and I talked to her when I got off the plane, she wasn’t the happiest person in the world that I’d went for that drink. I walked to everywhere except where I probably should have started…. The Master Bedroom.

I opened the door and she was standing by the window, a glass of eggnog on the dresser. A candy cane in her mouth; red suede boots, a Santa hat and a red silk robe. I was instantly sober and instantly ready to make my son or daughter, it really didn’t matter. Walking towards her, stumbling slightly, I could tell she was pouting, she was spoiled. It was my fault.

She grabbed my tie and pushed me in the chest.

“I MADE YOU!”

She was loud and obviously drunk but sexy as hell!

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MAKE ME?!”

I was loud and drunk, horny as hell!

“BEFORE ME, WHAT WERE YOU WRITING ABOUT?”

I tried to wrap my arms around her but she jumped on top of the bed and started moving her body to the Christmas music, this woman could dance to anything. I swear she was a stripper in a past life.

“I DON’T KNOW, I WAS WRITING ABOUT LIFE, LOVE…”

“WRONG DEMEZ! YOU WERE WRITING ABOUT SHIT NO ONE CARED ABOUT! I BROUGHT PASSION TO YOUR WORDS, EXCITEMENT TO YOUR STORYLINES! I GAVE YOU THE DRAMA YOU WANTED SO DESPERATELY!”

So me cursing her out, hitting her ex in the head with a bottle, having angry sex in the backseat of cars… That motivated my writing?

“SO BECAUSE YOU’RE CONSTANTLY FUCKING WITH MY EMOTIONS AND LYING TO ME, YOU’RE TAKING CREDIT FOR MY BOOK SALES!?”

She just looked at me and unwrapped the candy cane.

“IF YOU WANT TO PUT IT LIKE THAT, YES!”

“THAT’S BULLSHIT AND YOU KNOW IT! MAYBE YOU WERE THE INSPIRATION BEHIND A STORY OR TWO BUT THAT’S WHERE IT ENDS…”

“BOY PLEASE! I DON’T HAVE TO WRITE THE STORY, I PROVIDE THE IDEAS! THAT’S WHY YOU’RE STILL HERE BECAUSE YOU KNOW NO ONE IS GOING TO MOTIVATE YOU THE WAY I DO! NO ONE IS GOING TO PUSH YOU TO THE BRINK THE WAY I DO! YOU’RE NOT LIKE REGULAR GUYS; YOU DON’T SUCCEED WHEN

 YOU’RE HAPPY! YOU DO YOUR BEST WORK WHEN YOU’RE PISSED OR STRESSED OR HURT! I BRING OUT ALL THOSE EMOTIONS IN YOU, UNINTENTIONALLY OF COURSE.

She smiled and stepped off the bed, I could see her nipples poking thru the silk, her thighs peeking thru the small, thin robe.

“I’M NOT GOING TO KEEP HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU, KISS ME!”

I wrapped my arms around her again, we were loud! And drunk!

“WHY SHOULD I KISS YOU?! YOU WON’T EVEN GIVE ME CREDIT FOR YOUR SUCCESS.”

“YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE CREDIT FOR MY SUCCESS, WHAT DO YOU WANT BABY, I PLAQUE?”

“I DON’T NEED ALL THAT, THERE’S NO ONE IN THIS ROOM… BUT ME, YOU AND SANTA. WITH HIM AS OUR WITNESS, I WANT YOU TO SAY I MADE YOU?”

Her lips were inches from my face, her breath smelt like peppermint; my hands were on her ass. It was so soft.

“THAT’S WHAT I NEED TO SAY TO GET A KISS?”

“THAT’S WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY TO GET A KISS…”

“WHAT IF I TOLD YOU I JUST DON’T WANT A KISS THAT BAD?”

 “I WOULD TELL YOU THAT YOU’RE A LIAR BECAUSE YOU HAVEN’T STOPPED LOOKING AT ME SINCE YOU GOT HOME!”

She was looking thru me, I couldn’t lie to her, I could never lie to her. I was about to explode but I couldn’t give in that easily.

“OKAY… BETWEEN YOU, ME AND SANTA… YOU HAD A BIG IMPACT ON MY WRITING.”

“THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH PAPI… CHU HAVE TU DO BETTA! IF YOU WANT WHAT’S UNDER THIS MISTLETOE YOU’LL SAY WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY SILLY.”

She spoke fluent Spanish and she would break out the accent whenever she was feeling freaky, kinky.

“BEFORE YOU, I WAS LACKING THE PROPER MOTIVATION. YOU MADE ME A BETTER WRITER, MY BOOK WOULDN’T BE WHAT IT IS IF IT WASN’T FOR YOU.”

I was trying to sweet talk her, my lips were on her ear, my right hand was on her nipple. I knew she could feel me thru my pants.

“OKAY… OKAY… WE’RE GETTING CLOSE, FOR THAT YOU GET A KISS. COME HERE…”

Her tongue almost made me scream, the way it rolled around in my mouth, the way her lips sucked just right. She used her teeth to tease, not to bite. I was weak for this chick.

“NOW, YOU LIKED THAT DIDN’T YOU? YOU WANT MORE BABY?”

“YOU KNOW I DO.”

“WELL SAY IT, “ERICA, YOU MADE ME.”

I couldn’t say it! I couldn’t give her that kind of control over me!

“IS THIS SORT OF DOMINATION THING FOR YOU?”

“I’M DRESSED IN A SANTA HAT, RED SUEDE BOOTS AND A SHEER RED ROBE. MAYBE I’M WEARING PANTIES, MAYBE I’M NOT, YOU WON’T FIND OUT UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO HEAR DEMEZ.”

She was raising her robe just enough for me to see her upper thigh, just enough for me to want to put my fingers in. I loved how hot she got, how wet she got. GOD! I missed that so much. I pulled the box out of my pocket, it was a sunflower shaped diamond on a thin platinum chain. It cost me a fortune but she was worth it.

“I GOT YOU SOMETHING.”

Her eyes lit up.

“OH MY GOD! THAT IS BEAUTIFUL! WHERE DID YOU GET IT?!”

“FROM THIS JEWELRY SHOP IN CHICAGO, THEY IMPORT EVERYTHING FROM SPAIN; IT’S A ONE OF A KIND NECKLACE.”

“PUT IT ON! PUT IT ON!”

She turned around, her back was facing me. The back of her neck, her ass, her legs, it took everything in me not to bend her over and take it right then and there!

“I CAN’T DO THAT BABY GIRL, NOT WHILE YOU’RE STILL WEARING THAT ROBE. SO WE HAVE A PROBLEM, I CAN’T TELL YOU YOU MADE ME AND YOU WON’T GIVE ME WHAT I’VE BEEN CRAVING SINCE I GOT OFF THE PLANE BECAUSE I WON’T SAY IT. SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?”

“HOW ABOUT I SHOW YOU WHAT SANTA HAS FOR YOU IF YOU DO WHAT I SAY AND BE A GOOD BOY.”

The robe opened and there were no panties, no bra, just skin and music. She had a piece of mistletoe in her robe pocket, she took it out and held it in her hand, over my heaven.

“THAT’S NOT FAIR.”

“WHY ISN’T IT FAIR DEMEZ, NO ONE TOLD YOU TO DO ALL THAT DRINKING ON THE PLANE? NO ONE TOLD YOU TO MARRY SOMEONE THAT COULD GET THIS WET. THAT COULD DO AMAZING THINGS WITH CANDY CANES. DO YOU WANT TO TASTE THIS CANDY CANE HUSBAND? DO YOU WANT TO KISS UNDER THE MISTLETOE?”

She was sticking the candy cane in and out of her, putting it in her mouth and back inside of her. I fell to my knees in the middle of the floor.

“I WANT TO TASTE THAT CANDY CANE, I WANT TO TASTE YOU, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T WEARING PANTIES BY THE WAY.”

“DID YOU REALLY KNOW THAT?”

“I HAD A GOOD FEELING.”

“JUST SAY IT AND YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE IN WHATEVER PLACE YOU LIKE. WATCH THE CANDY CANE DEMEZ, THIS COULD BE YOU.”

She was doing amazing things with the candy cane, my mouth was watering.

“THIS NECKLACE COST A SMALL FORTUNE, YOU COULD HAVE IT.”

I held it up like it was a gold medal at the Olympics.

“WE BOTH KNOW I’M GOING TO GET THE NECKLACE ANYWAY AND WE BOTH KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO GET TO PUT YOUR MOUTH HERE ANYWAY. BUT WHAT WE DON’T KNOW IS WHETHER OR NOT THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN TONIGHT?”

“DO I REALLY NEED TO SAY IT?”

“YOU’VE BEEN ON THIS BOOK TOUR FOR TWO WEEKS, YOU’VE FORCED ME TO TOUCH MYSELF AND PLAY WITH TOYS WHILE YOU WERE AWAY! YOU’VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH THOSE GEEKY BOOK BITCHES AND YOU PROBABLY HAD A DRINK OR TWO WITH THEM. SO YES, IN ORDER TO TASTE HEAVEN, I NEED YOU TO SAY IT TO BABY.”

Her eyes were full of confidence, she knew she had me. I knew she had me. I wanted to be that candy cane so bad.

“YOU’RE ARROGANT, YOU KNOW THAT?”

“BUT YOU LOVE MY WET, SEXY, FINE, ARROGANT ASS!”

“YOU MADE ME ERICA. BEFORE YOU MY LIFE WAS PRETTY BORING, AFTER YOU… I’M COMING HOME TO A WOMAN STICKING A CANDY CANE IN HER VAGINA.”

I said it, fuck it, I sacrificed my self respect to get in-between those legs. Was I weak? Probably…

“THAT’S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY MR. NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLING AUTHOR… COME HERE!”

 Before her I was a good writer, after her I am a GREAT WRITER!

I took off my jacket, my tie, my shirt, my pants… She laid back on the bed looking at me, smiling at me.

“Come put it in baby, claim what’s yours.”

“What do you want in your stomach, a boy or a girl?”

“Let’s work on a boy tonight, you’ll have to hit it from the back for that baby. At least that’s what I heard.”

She threw her robe on the floor, bent over on our California King, her Santa hat on, the red suede boots on the bed. I licked my fingers, I could taste the peppermint. I placed them inside, she was so warm, so wet. I wanted to taste her but I needed to be inside her, I slid in smooth, she flinched, tightened up. I loved that feeling of first entering, there was nothing like it.

 “Merry Christmas Demez.”

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