I haven’t written a love letter in awhile. There hasn’t really been any one to write it to and the criteria is sort of simple. I kind of have to be in love with you. but I’ve been up since about 3am and I have all these thoughts running thru my mind. So this isn’t for anyone in particular, just me writing.
I’ve Never Told You How Much I Need You…
There are nights when I roll over and see your face. It’s so vivid, so real, so perfect. I reach out my hand and touch your hair, trace my fingers along your lips and you smile and go back to sleep. And as soon as I blink you’re gone and I’m looking at the wall and wide awake.
There are moments when my phone vibrates and everything around me stops because I know in my heart it’s you calling, texting, emailing and when I look at the screen it’s not.
I often write about love and dating and chivalristic qualities but the thing I never write about, the thing I never talk about is pride. Pride is a double edged sword, pride makes me the man I am but pride also has me dreaming about you knowing what I probably need to do to get you.
I’m not a sucker for beautiful women, as a matter of fact most of the women I’ve loved there wasn’t that much sex. It was way more mental. We talked, I trusted their opinion, their ideas. I loved them because I know they believed in me! Because hearing from them or seeing their face when I was down meant everything in the world to me.
People think I’m sad or mean at times but that’s far from the truth, see, the thing about me is that when I fall for someone I fall hard! I fall with all and everything I am. Her happiness means the world to me and when shit goes bad it wrecks me!
There are things I’ve never really told people and I imagine a day when she’ll smile at me and it will all make sense. I don’t think I ever told her how much I needed her and even when I meet a new woman and we hang out she can’t imagine how important she’ll become to me.
I love you because of what you’ll make me. I haven’t said that to anyone since June 1st. I actually remember the date, it was the last time I said those words.