Her phone was on the nightstand, her laptop was on the kitchen table, her iPad on the bed next to her. I didn’t know what was on them, if they were locked, if they were evidence. I’d stared at each on of them, ran my fingers across the keyboard of the laptop and watched it come to life but I just couldn’t be that man. Did I want to be the man that looked through my wife’s things? The man that needed validation that I was enough for her?
Fuck! I wasn’t that man!
I wasn’t that man… but insomnia had a way of making even the most logical and sane of us crazy. I reached for her phone…
“What are you doing?!” I opened my eyes and saw him holding the phone in his hand! My heart was in my throat, I was so tired when I closed my eyes that I didn’t lock my phone. I panicked, my husband saw me panic. He was too calm, the cable box read 3:32am and he was wide awake and fully dressed standing over me.
“Why do you have my phone?” When I sat up the sheet fell from my neck and I was naked from the waist up. Using sex to stop my husband from breaking both our hearts made me feel no less than a whore but what was my alternative? Him opening my text and seeing his world text another man about how his dick felt in her throat?
“Come back to bed baby? Please… Come to bed.” I hoped to God he couldn’t hear the desperation in my voice. My mouth was dry, I could feel the sweat on my thighs and back, I wasn’t this woman. Please God don’t let him open that phone.
“Just tell me the truth Rocky. JUST TELL ME THE FUCKING TRUTH!!!” I jumped and my back hit the headboard, we didn’t yell at each other, our fights were silly and over and fast as they started. He’d never yelled at me. In my mind I knew if he’d already looked at the phone his hands would be around my throat right now.
In my heart I knew it was just a matter of time before shit got real! I wasn’t ready to lose my husband, my life. The tears started to fall and he squeezed the phone tighter, my body was doing nothing for him. My nipples always got him hard, we woke up in the middle of the night and made love almost on a nightly basis, it was like our bodies were synced for it.
But tonight my body wasn’t going to get me out of this. He knew, I knew he knew but he didn’t know.
“Fuck this Raquel! He turned on the phone and jumped out the bed and tried to grab it! He pushed me down and turned his back to me! I wasn’t going to fight my husband for this phone! My phone! He couldn’t find out about this!
“I’m pregnant! I’m pregnant okay!”
The lie came off my tongue so convincing my hand went to my stomach to protect a baby that wasn’t there. He dropped the phone on the hardwood floor, I hoped it crashed into a million pieces but it just sat there, screen up. Hunting me.
I touched his face, I was driving this man crazy and now I’d done the one thing I promised I would never do. I lied to him about the son he wanted more than anything in this world. “I’m pregnant and I didn’t want you to find out like this! Things between us have been so tense and I just didn’t want you to find out like this baby!”
I could feel the bile at the back of my throat but I knew him, I knew he loved me. I saw in his eyes that he believed me, I wasn’t a groupie or mistress. I was his wife! Wives didn’t lie about these sorts of things.
“You should have told me, you should have told me.” He fell to his knees and put his lips against my stomach. I could feel his tears on my skin. “I’m sorry Rocky, I’m sorry baby.”
My ring shined in the moonlight and my phone was lighting up on the floor behind him. I was going to hell but at least I had another night with my husband not knowing the truth. Because if he did I had no doubt he would burn this house to the ground with me in it.
Scene IV coming tomorrow exclusively on http://www.demezw.com where reading and writing live!