I can’t be the only person that feels so lost at times. So alone with my thoughts. As I write this and sleep eludes me I wonder what God has in store for me.
Who God has in store for me.
I’m tired, I’m just so tired and even though I know how blessed I am In life I still want a reason to smile.
Every time I get an email in the back of my mind I hope it’s from her and that scares the hell out of me. I’ve stopped calling people, texting people, going out. I’ve put myself in this cocoon and I don’t know why.
I miss having someone to talk to when I need a friend that’s more than a friend. I miss kissing and hugs that have feeling and heart.
I miss knowing there’s someone out there that would cry if I died tomorrow. My mind is betraying me and driving me crazy.
I haven’t touched any alcohol since Sunday and its not because I’m trying to better myself. Its because I don’t want to kill myself. I feel like the next time I drink I won’t stop.
So I write and work and pray in my own way. I pray for strength, for an Angel and for the safety and blessings of the people I love.
So pray for me and know that I need it more than I’ve ever needed it before. Because right now I just don’t know anymore.