Reason One– How many of us break our neck trying to get to work on time? Running red lights that we swear are yellow. Going around Metro buses or yellow school buses that are going ten miles an hour. Checking that clock on our dashboard or cell phones every other minute. We’ve all been guilty of it, some of us more punctual than others but the simple truth is; when it comes to work, we show up on time or damn close to it.
Relationships– This note is coming from the perspective of a man but it each reason will apply to both sexes. We don’t have the same urgency or respect for time when it comes to relationships, maybe it’s the fact that are jobs pay us. Maybe it’s the reputation we want to maintain or gain at work but whatever it is, it’s not the same. If she goes out with her girls on a Wednesday and gets wasted, she’s going to pop some pills, drink some OJ and shake off that snooze button to go to work. But if she gets blasted on a Friday and has a lunch date at noon, is she really going to shake off that pillow and comforter to get up and get ready for that date? Probably not….
“Let’s push it back, let’s reschedule, I don’t feel well.”
Men are the same way, we come home day after day complaining about work, stressing about work or just tired. But we still get up on time every day. But we have no problem showing up at 8 for a 7pm date like it’s all good.
“I’m sorry babe, I lost track of time, it was traffic. You look good tonight.”
Respect the time of the person you want the same way you respect the time your Human Resources manger sets.
Reason Two- The interview process. When you interview for a job, you’re prepared right? You want to put on the best front possible. A good posture, a nice dress or pants suit. Us men make sure the tie is neutral and tied right, we want to make a first impression that will blow that persons mind.
“This is the kind of man/woman I want working in this company!!! He’s hired Jim!!!!”
That’s what we want when we go on that interview. We’re all in, focused and ready to set a standard for that first evaluation. And on a side note, if what I just described isn’t you, you probably are unemployed.
Relationships- Most women and men for that matter take the physical side of a first date very seriously. We get the fresh haircut, make sure the shoes and button downs are fresh and clean. Women have the nails working, the hair bouncy, from a appearance standpoint most people don’t skimp on the first date. Most realistic people.
But from a professional standpoint, are you sitting in that passenger seat or drivers seat saying, “I want to make my first impression one of a wife/husband or are you texting? Facebooking? Trying to be the coolest man in the room or the sexiest woman in the room? Comfort is overrated and that will be a running theme in this note because people get comfortable far too quick on dates. Like an interview every subject isn’t cool to talk about, there are some things that are just personal. Every outfit isn’t first date ready, the same way every outfit isn’t interview ready.
Respect the fact that first impressions when it comes to us choosing husbands and wives are just as important as first impressions when we’re trying to get put on for a job!
Reason Three- Sicktime, Vaction Days and Overtime- If there is one thing about working for the State I love it’s the days off, we get some of the most ridiculous Holidays off and we get paid for them. I get 8 hours of sick and 8 hours of vacay a month. That’s 12 days a year that I can call in sick, 12 days that I can get away with getting paid to sit at home and watch On Demand or go on a day date. I value the hell out of those 12 days because I worked for them and I don’t want to waste them. So I don’t call in sick because it’s cold or rainy or because my bed feels super warm. I get up, I ignore that urge and I go to work, saving those 12 days for when I really need them.
Relationships– If we kept count of the amount of sick and vacation days we used in dating or relationships most of us would be fired. Just sit back and think about the days when you didn’t feel like cooking, getting up and washing dishes. The days when he/she called and you ignored it just because you needed some ‘me’ time. Think about the times when you were asked out but you were just ‘tooooo tired.’ We take full liberties with our extra days in relationships. If I told you tonight that starting on June 6th you only had twelve days to blow off in your relationship for the whole year how many of you would make it? And be honest with yourself?
Reason Four- Casual Friday is real for all these cubicle people, I work in construction so I don’t have this issue but I know enough women that value casual Fridays more than they value kisses on the forehead. It’s the one day out the week that you can rock jeans, t-shirts or polo shirts. Maybe your Texans gear or whatever you think is cute enough. Women get into more than men do because fashion is more important to them but everyone loves a casual Friday. For four days out the week you have to dress like ‘they’ tell you to dress but on that one day you get to be creative and casual at the same time. The spirit in the office is literally up.
Relationships- How many casual days do we have a week when it comes to a relationship? And for the ones that aren’t getting it, I’m not speaking about jeans and cute t-shirts. I’m speaking about the days that we aren’t giving 100% effort wise. I don’t want to sound vain but you can do casual in a cute way. Sweat pants and t-shirts and shorts have evolved to comfortable sexy. So there is no excuse for looking bummy and this is in reference to women. But men aren’t off the hook, t-shirts are not meant to last forever, after several washes they tend to be on the beat up side. Boxers too, we have to keep up the casual appearance just as much as they do. At work we have casual Friday but in a lot of relationships they have casual Monday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. That’s not contusive to what you want.
Reason Five- Evaluations and Expectations are what most of us live by in our careers. We know what our bosses expect of us and we do enough to get by or more than enough to get ahead but either way we aren’t under achieving. Because under achieving will get you fired fast and in a hurry. Under achieving will have you broke and sad looking to start that interview process all over again. We do what we have to do to live up to those expectations. To surpass those expectations if we have goals in life.
Relationships- Have you ever sit down with a pen and paper and literally laid out with you expected of the person you’re with. Not a general conversation about what your ex didn’t do or about what my ex did right. But a real evaluation? I want you to not wear big panties more than seven times a month, I want you to cook at least twice a week. Or maybe she says I want you lose some of that stomach or I want you to keep my car washed, oil changed and you have to pay at least two bills of 200 or more. Maybe it sounds crazy but is it crazy? Think about it, if you knew what your mate was expecting, not just in some common sense, I listen way. But in a real live Power Point sort of way, you would be on it! Because there would be no excuses for messing up.
And at the end of that year when we sit down and look at the evaluations, I can say or she can say… You aren’t living up to my expectations, look at this paper and see for yourself. Expectations are a good thing, they keep us from doing just enough, they keep us in check from our attitudes and moods.
These are all my opinions, if you disagree I’ll be more than happy to hear you out and talk to you. I love dialogue. Walking Down the Aisle is available on Nook, Kindle and http://www.addison craft.com.
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