Late Nights… Early Mornings

Fear.

Pride.

People don’t often put them in the same category but I do. It’s 1:30 in the morning and I can’t sleep, to be perfectly honest I don’t even know why I’m sleeping alone. It’s been awhile since I laid on a couch with someone and fell asleep with her in my lap.

It’s a mix of fear and pride.

My pride doesn’t allow me to get close to people.

Fear of getting too close and losing someone. I can’t lose someone again.

But I miss it, everything about it. And I know whether or want to admit or not I’m spending way too much time alone. I fully understand why men give out keys quick or cook breakfast in bed now, when you lack something for so long you do whatever to keep it once you get it.

There won’t be much sleep tonight but there will be dreams.

 

Demez F. White

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