Good Times and the Bad…

“You’re always angry, you’re an asshole!”

“You’re always tired, stressed, sad. I’ve been here, I listen, I try to make it better but how much am I supposed to take? You don’t want me to be here with you but you don’t want me out there with them?!”

“You don’t have to be here! Leave! I was fine before you and I will be fucking dandy after you!”

Her eyes were read, I couldn’t tell if it was from her being tired or her crying. I couldn’t read her anymore. My back was to the door, a part of me wanted to turn around, leave and start a life without her.

But….

What was life if it wasn’t with her?

She wanted me to leave, she wanted me to be like them. She wanted a reason to hate me, to push me away. Leaving would give her that reason. Leaving would be the easy thing to do. But what was supposed to be easy about love? She wasn’t happy and what kind of man would I be if I walked away when things were difficult? We would find happy together or we would be miserable together.

“I read your writing, I hear your phone vibrating when you’re in the shower or outside! You’re here out of loyalty, not love! I’m not the woman you write about, the women you tell the world you want! So what’s the point?! Just leave… I’ll be alright.”

I closed my eyes to stop from screaming, I squeezed my hand shut to stop from slamming it into a wall. I was here, I was faithful, I was honest and that wasn’t enough for her. My heart was beating, not with anger, but with the thought of losing her. Why the hell couldn’t she understand that?!

“Come here.” She stepped back.

I stepped forward. “COME HERE!”

She tried to push me off but I grabbed her and before she could scream or cry or curse I kissed her. I didn’t give her a chance to not kiss me back, I didn’t give her a chance to think. I just wanted her to react. With my lips on hers, my hands sliding down the back of her panties I wanted her to kiss me back, I needed that to be her first reaction. And it was, our passion wasn’t lost in our anger, our passion was intensified by our anger.

Picking her up and sitting her on the bar, her heat smothering me. Her need drowning me. I pulled away with my hands on her waist and my eyes locked with hers.

“I’m not going anywhere no matter how much you push me away. I’m not going anywhere!”

The tears I knew she was holding in started to fall and her hand found my chin, found my nose, found my cheek.

“Please don’t go anywhere…”  

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