“It’s late, I’m tired, what are you doing here?”
“I’m here to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I have wine and your favorite pie fresh from my mother’s oven.”
She was sitting on my porch, her legs crossed, wine in one hand and the sweet potato pie in the other. Thanksgiving was yesterday was what I wanted to tell her but she knew as well as I did that I wasn’t going to turn her away. Yesterday she was with her husband, their child, she was with her family. Yesterday I watched her post picture after picture with cousins and aunts and… him. Yesterday she was the happy wife and I got the “Happy Thanksgiving” text. And tonight she wanted me to forget all that. How do you forget that?
“I’ve been out here for an hour; why is your phone off?”
The funny thing is she was serious. She wasn’t sitting anymore, standing in front of my door, questioning me about why my phone was off when there was a ring on her finger.
“Go home to your family Kacey.”
I was tired, I couldn’t blame her though. I knew what I was getting into the moment we met. I knew her situation, I knew she loved him. But what I didn’t know is that I would fall in love with her. What I couldn’t see was that I’d grow to resent her for letting him touch her. What scared me is that when my feelings should have been fading all I could think about was how much I missed her. ”He’s at the Rockets game with his brothers and after that they’re going to the casino; my son is spending the night at my sisters. I have the whole night; we can cook and decorate that tree. You can wash my back in the shower, I’m yours tonight. We can do all the stuff you write about tonight.” Her smile was my kryptonite and her kiss was my cyanide.
She thought she was doing me a favor by giving me tonight but what I couldn’t explain to her, what I could probably never explain to anyone is that getting a piece of her gave me a hope that I knew wasn’t really there. Having her lie in a bed next to me, even if it was only for an hour or two would break my resolve. Our relationship… our affair wasn’t about the stolen moments in hotel rooms or backseats. It was about both of our loneliness. Mines because I’d fallen in love to a woman that took a vows with another man and hers because she was in a marriage that was a lie. We fed off each other’s vulnerability, each others fears, her tears aroused me and my emotion made her wet. I was the fuse, she the spark and it was just a matter of time before shit went… BOOM!