I’ve spent the majority of my life living by one general principal, and that’s that all women are good. That even if she’s slept around or lied or did things that she regrets it was only because there wasn’t a man in her life that helped her realize her potential. Whether it be a father, a big brother, a boyfriend or husband.
I just never accepted the idea that once a good girl goes bad she’s gone forever.
This week however has opened this writers eyes. I honestly don’t think most women want what they think they want. They don’t want a good guy to build a life with, they want Scandal. They like the idea of emotional fights and cheating and good vs. evil. They like feeling like he’s torn on whether he wants her or the field.
I’ve spent the last four years taking up for women, writing about how men have to do better. How men have to step up and take care of children we father and women that love us. But what I’ve never went in on is the fact that these women know these guys aren’t about shit when they sleep with them, when they children for them. When a woman makes a conscience decision to go out with her girls instead of going to dinner with a guy that she likes but maybe doesn’t LIKE. She’s dug her own grave. At this moment, right now, I have no more compassion for them. Single moms, chicks with broken hearts and bad credit due to letting guys play them. That’s on them!
As a man I have my flaws, I’ll admit them openly and readily and I’ll accept my role in any situations I’ve been in that didn’t work. But what I can also accept is that fact that I’m just tired, I really am. I’m tired of always doing right by people that don’t appreciate it, that don’t realize just what sort of man I am.
I meet women close to their home when we go out because I don’t want them to have to drive far. I call a lot of times instead of texting because I know they hate that. I don’t do bugaboo sort of shit because I’m not build like that. I live my life by a code… I’m not going to do to you what I wouldn’t want you doing to me.
But on the eve of our Lord and Saviors birthday I just don’t know anymore. I just need more. I need to have my faith renewed.
Because right now all I see is a life of writing, alcohol and solitude.