Losing Blessings By Pretending…

391690_132115926895533_100002913805424_167373_1571942060_nUntil you get rid of the mindset of where you’ve been, you’ll never seize where you’re going.

~ Reverend T.D. Jakes

I listened to a sermon today in which he talked about David and I knew the story of King David. He killed a giant, he was a great king and general and picked up where Moses left off. And I also knew about him taking a man’s wife while sending him into battle. What I didn’t know is that as punishment for having her husband killed and taking a married woman God took the child that came from that union.

David begged and pleaded and promised he would never do it again but God said there had to be retribution for your sins. And that punishment was the death of his child. David cried and mourned and cursed God but in the end he learned from his mistakes and made another son which would end up being one of the greatest leaders in the bible, Solomon.

The message I got from that parable was that sometimes we just have to take our punishment and move on. Told harp on it, don’t carry it like a weight for the rest of your life, just accept that you sinned and that you paid a price.

We tend to judge ourselves harder than anyone and when we’re finished judging ourselves we want to become someone we’re not in order to make up for those mistakes. But how can you truly be sorry if you can’t even accept that the person who made those mistakes is real?

How can you look yourself in the mirror knowing that you’re a lie, a fraud?

When you pretend you’re taking away blessings and you’re stopping your own growth.

A couple years ago I got demoted at work. I kept my same pay but I went from running twenty million dollar construction projects, being my own boss to picking up dead dogs and changing out old stop signs and speed limit signs. I was taking orders from men I’d literally ignored for years, saw them and didn’t even speak to them. I prayed and asked God why this was happening to me and I got no answer. But what I did get was humbled. I learned to talk to people and learned how to follow, to take criticism and instruction. What was a low point in my life became a strength and opportunity and when I realized it all I could do was smile and say, “Thank you God.”

When you have so much pride and such a high opinion of yourself you’re setting yourself up to take a fall. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment because you decided to get on that high horse. You miss out on blessings because you feel like you are the blessings.

I have a lot of growing and a lot of learning to do but what I can say is that I am growing and learning. I’ve missed a lot of blessings in my life fronting and lying, there’s no other way to put it. I’ve lost amazing women and probably hurt so many more. I’ve disappointed family and myself but I can take solace in the fact that God has forgiven me, in the fact that my family has forgiven me and in the fact that what I lost in one woman I’ll eventually gain in another.

Just be you and watch the blessings flow…

Demez F. White

One thought on “Losing Blessings By Pretending…

  1. Reblogged this on demezw and commented:

    A couple years ago I got demoted at work. I kept my same pay but I went from running twenty million dollar construction projects, being my own boss to picking up dead dogs and changing out old stop signs and speed limit signs. I was taking orders from men I’d literally ignored for years, saw them and didn’t even speak to them. I prayed and asked God why this was happening to me and I got no answer. But what I did get was humbled. I learned to talk to people and learned how to follow, to take criticism and instruction. What was a low point in my life became a strength and opportunity and when I realized it all I could do was smile and say, “Thank you God.”

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