People think they can just do what they want to do to you in this life and there won’t be consequences to their actions. You can’t just tell someone you like them or you’re into them and then just go away like they never existed! What are we?! Fucking animals?! You spend your life talking about love and values and passion and the truth is most of the world is going to hell anyway!
How many women actually believe in marriage or honor or love… You know what they believe in, finding the biggest asshole they can find and investing in feeling sorry for themselves when he fucks them over!
Sometimes I feel like God is punishing me, I literally feel like I did something to disappoint him because there are nights where I just. I just can’t do it anymore man. Sitting at this house alone, knowing a hundred people but feeling like you don’t really know anyone.
You know what that feels like?! To come home day after day and never have anyone call and ask how your day went or want to see you. The only fucking time people want to hang out is when they want to drink or flirt or whatever!
Being alone isn’t good for me. I haven’t slept thru a night in a year, I haven’t went a night without having to drink just to stop these fucking nightmares for longer than that! I’m not a bad fucking person put people treat me like I’m just a failure, like I’m dispensable or some shit!
The things I write about, I’m getting to the point to where I don’t believe in them anymore.
I’ve forgotten what it was like to be happy, to have a real friend or a real girlfriend or just anything real.
I can’t deal with people constantly giving up on me, I just can’t. Not anymore.
I want to be a better person, to be a better man. But at this point in my life I don’t know if that’s possible anymore. It’s gotten to the point where I expect people to be dissapointments, where I expect them to not live up to expectations. What kind of life is that? Knowing that everyone that smiles in your face and talks to you like they care are only temporary.