Sitting at this computer, taking a break from work and a thought crossed my mind. I’m listening to a couple of mixtapes and all most of them are talking about is the negatives of relationships. As a man all any of us can hope for is that we can give the woman in our life the option of whether she wants to work or not.
Do we live in a world where two incomes are almost necessary? Of course we do but that doesn’t mean as a man you can’t supplement what she brings to the table.
I’m doing well enough in life at the moment but I’m not doing well enough to take care of another adult. But what I can do is pay a light bill here, a phone bill there, get a car washed or the oil changed. I’m a logical man, I realize my limitations so for me it’s easy to sit someone down and say, “This is what I can do and this is why I’m doing it; I love the fact you’re capable of doing this own your own but what sort of man would I be if I let you do it on your own? You don’t have to do it by yourself babe. We were blessed with each other to look out for each other.”
Look, let’s be honest, most women are more than willing to follow if they encounter a man that’s worth following. Words get you in the door but actions are what changes lives and perceptions. It’s easy to impress a woman that’s never had anything, you can give her a tank of gas and that’s more than the last three guys she dated did combined. But if you want to make the earth move, be a man of your word and set expectations that you know you can meet.
Whoever said it’s not tricking if you have it… Is a trick. It’s still tricking if you have it, it’s not tricking if you have her. Then it becomes spoiling and spoiling is perfectly healthy. You know why we don’t spoil children? Because we deprive them of learning basic etiquette and human decency. But it’s okay to spoil a grown woman because she’s already who she is. Going to fill up her car on a Sunday night before the work week starts. Buying her a couple of Subway and Starbucks gift cards so she doesn’t have to swipe that debit card. These are things that will give her pause when men try to get at her and believe me… If she’s fine, men will come. And any guy that thinks he has his woman on lock is a fool. You never stop spoiling or setting high standards because there will always be someone wanting what you have.
For me… I take pride in being the man I am. Can it scare some women to know that my expectations are really high and I love really hard, sure. But if that scares them, they were probably never for me anyway. And that’s how I’ve always approached life because you can say I’m a jerk at times, you can say I’m mean or arrogant. But what no woman will ever say about me is that I’m selfish or a user. Anything she can do for herself, I can do for her. And I’m more than happy to do for her.
I’d never want a woman in my life that needed me for financial reasons because even when or if she fell out of love with me she’s not going to go anywhere. I want her to be able to do it for herself and when I come alone we build on what we have together. Double those payments and pay off her student loans, double the payments and pay off a bill of mines. Working together to make each other better because she could do it on her own but why in the hell would I let her pretty ass do that? This is the picture I see in my mind when I think about my future “her.”