Through heartbreak we find out how strong we are. But it’s that same heartbreak that betrays us when it’s time to move on. Not every touch shoots the same current up your spine. Not every text or call receives the same smile before you answer or respond. Not every one is replaceable no matter how much Beyonce sings it or friends preach it.
Have you ever gone to a restaurant and had something so delicious that for the weeks following nothing you ate came close to satisfying you? Or maybe you have a date that’s flirty, cool, smart, attractive and for those 90 minutes you realize why you put up with all the bullshit; because of moments like this. So the next guy that you hang out with has lost before he started because he can’t compete with that perfect date.
Those feelings, multiply them times ten and that’s what it’s like trying to replace someone that you truly loved.
People use the word love effortlessly. I love Scandal, I love the Lakers, I love Pappadeaux or Morton’s. Even the people we date, the word love can flow from a person’s mouth in a matter of weeks but love isn’t a noun or adjective. It’s a verb. It’s an action word that derives from feeling like your heart is about to explode with happiness. Love is not sleeping because she went out and didn’t let you know she made it home safe. Love is smiling for no reason because you’re thinking about something silly she did.
Love isn’t fighting over her, love is fighting for her. Pride will make a man threaten or fight someone over a woman but only love can make you fight for her because love and pride cannot co-exist if you want her in your life. I say this not as a writer but as a man that has lost more than most people can imagine or bear because of my pride. Pride tells you that you can replace her, that what you’re feeling is weakness; but love tells you that sometimes you have to be weak and vulnerable in order to get to happy. Not all women are created equal and therefore some women are just irreplaceable.
We tell are ourselves that no love is worth shutting down, that life happens and no matter how hard the pain hits you, there’s always a tomorrow. I’ve often said that God doesn’t take something out of our lives without replacing it with something better… But the truth is not all loves and romances and memories are created equal. And if they aren’t created equal how can you replace one with another? You’ll never get the same goosebumps, the same fear when they don’t call or joy when they touch you. Our minds can tell us that we can replace them but our hearts and bodies don’t lie in those moments where we lie unfulfilled and alone.