Have you ever seen someone online or had a friend show you a picture of a person and they literally looked perfect? Or met someone in a club, restaurant or at an event and everything about them was just overwhelmingly charming and sexy? That’s seeing them at their best, they’ve primped and pampered and manicured for hours to get that look. It’s easy to want them, to want her, when she looks like that. She’s just gotten paid, her outfit is laid, her hair still smells like coconut or amber. Try wanting her when she’s at her worse. When she’s rocking flats that have seen better days, clothes that have been in the washer one too many times and an attitude that’s telling you, “You can’t do anything right.”
See, I used to think that too many people were waiting for perfect but now I’m not sure if that’s the case at all. It’s easy to convince yourself that you can be good to someone regardless of how bad things get when things are good. I mean, how do you know how you’ll handle adversity until that moment comes? I love her when she’s a size 4 and wants sex just as much as I do but can you love her if she goes to a size 8 and starts to stress about her career not going where she thought it would go? I respect men and women that have the ability to want people at their worse because if it was easy more of us would do it.
There’s this quote that I’ve seen several times. “A real woman can do it alone but a real man wouldn’t let her.” I don’t disagree with that concept. Here’s one that I’ve been thinking about due to some friends that are having financial trouble. “A man can struggle on his own until he gets back on his feet but a real woman wouldn’t let him.” As much as I write about the responsibility of men to step up and be better fathers, better husbands, better boyfriends, better friends… It’s a two way street. When that man has nothing and his life seems hopeless will you still want him?
If the answer to that question is yes know you have a good situation and it’s worth fighting for. When I was a kid my mom would get off work and throw on the most raggedly gown I’d ever seen in my life. This thing had seen way better days and my stepfather never said a thing about it. I couldn’t understand that until I grew up and realized after a point everyday isn’t MAC and Victoria’s Secret and 3 course meals. They’ll be bad days, stormy days and if you still want to be there… If you still feel like she’s the most beautiful woman in the world when she looks a mess. You can’t fight that.