Today I found out someone I used to know is married. I spent the better part of my afternoon sitting in my office just sort of thinking. I often question why things happen the way they happen and in the midst of my thoughts one thought always comes to mind. If God wanted it for me it would be for me. Faith isn’t easy, it doesn’t come with perfect confidence. Not for me it doesn’t. For me faith comes with a lot of praying and a lot of sacrifice. Faith is knowing that he has my best interest in heart even when I don’t.
When we lose faith, in essence we’re severing our support system with God. It’s easy to be happy and to be a believer when everything is going well. When the woman you think you’ll marry is happy and you look forward to going to work. Our faith is tested when that woman marries another man, when you look at your cell for 15 minutes before work wondering if you should call in. The easiest thing in the world is to give up, is to feel sorry for yourself but why give up when he has never given up on you?
In my heart I know that I’m far from perfect, I know that I have so many ways I could better myself. My faith doesn’t allow me to dwell in my imperfections, in my fears, in my rejections. My faith gives me the strength to see past the bad dates or promotions I didn’t get. My faith gives me hope that everything I desire may not come when I want it but it will come. If it doesn’t it’s because God is protecting me from something I didn’t need anyway.
If you don’t have faith in him, how can he have faith in you? Remember that the next time your fears outweigh your convictions.