“Once you sign your name you do understand I own your soul right?”
He didn’t look like most people would think, imagine Bill Gates with a little more weight on him. Coming out of the bar he stopped me and asked me if I had a light. I told him I didn’t smoke but some sort of way we ended up talking. I told him I was lonely, that I’d thought about giving up. He laughed and said if I did such a thing I’d end up with him.
“Who are you that I’d end up with you?” He smiled, I’m Satan.
I laughed for the first time in a long time, a really deep, heartfelt laugh. It came out of his mouth so smoothly that I couldn’t help but to, the liquor flowing through my veins couldn’t have hurt.
“You’re Satan huh, I thought you’d be ummm bigger.” I leaned against the wall and caught my breath.
“I get that a lot. You shouldn’t believe all that Bible stuff. I knew Jesus, he was a hippie, smoked a lot of weed, was always under Mary Magdalene, she had him wrapped around her fingers. He did what he had to do, saving the souls of man and all but look at all the shit he makes you all go thru, sin is fun! Do you really want to give up sin? I’m not asking you to worship me, I’m simply asking you if you want to be happy. Doesn’t sin make you happy?”
Shit! Satan was making a good point and the crazy thing is I was actually believing him. Maybe I was the one going crazy. I did want to be happy but did I want to be happy because of something this crazy man was telling me?
“When you were 8 you ran into a brick wall on your motorized truck and busted up your chin. When you were 17 you got into a fight with your mothers husband, you call him that instead of your stepfather. When you were 22 you almost died in a drunk driving accident because you were too drunk to even drive. You met her in 2010, you know who “her” is. That’s who all this is about, the sadness, the drinking, the stress. If you want her back, I can make that happen for you. Just know it’s going to cost you your soul friend.”
I wiped my eyes, did this man just recite to me events of my life that he couldn’t have found on any database in this world? Did he just read my mind? The right side of my brain was saying walk away, it was saying this is a dream or some sort of black magic. The left side of my brain was telling me to hear him out. I mean did I really know what was waiting for me after I died? What would my soul be worth anyway once I was gone? My time on earth may be the best time of my life.
“What does costing me my soul mean? I’m not trying to be in that fire and brimstone and living my worst nightmare everyday for the rest of eternity. You’re the fucking Devil bro.” He put his cigarette out in his hand and laughed the same deep laugh I laughed before.
“Didn’t I just tell you not to believe that shit you hear in the bible? Hell isn’t like Heaven but it isn’t this burning, smoking, Guantanamo Bay sort of place ether. It’s sort of like Vegas with no clouds. It’s hot, I won’t lie to you but there’s women and every vice you can imagine. No diseases or guilt. The way you feel right now, you’ll never feel like this in hell!”
“You can get me her?”
I can’t even believe I was thinking this, if my grandparents knew I was even entertaining Satan they would probably fall dead. But he was offering me something God hadn’t bothered to offer me. He was offering me the one person, the one thing that I needed.
“I can get you her, that son, the daughter. The perfect number one spot on the NYT and any other thing your heart can imagine. Do you want a life of struggle and fear working for the big man upstairs or do you want to live like a God on earth with my help?”
To Be Continued…