It’s why we have those broke in gym shoes that we love to wear or that dirty baseball cap. Night gowns that have seen better days and t-shirts that got washed one too many times. When something is comfortable it is almost impossible to let it go.
There’s this familiarity with it, who likes starting from scratch? Having to get to know someone all over again, asking 21 questions and waiting for someone’s representative to leave. It’s not fun and especially when you’re lonely or bored the temptation to go back to what’s comfortable can be deafening.
So many people are tempted to walk thru those old doors because in life it’s so much easier to dance with the devil we know. Six months of no sex, no kissing, no comfort. Six months of so so dates or bullshit dates. Over time you stop forgetting why it fell apart and what you miss about them. Over time you forget why you fell out of love and start remembering why you fell in love so you walk thru those old doors.
For a week, for a month, you feel good. You start to regret even walking away in the first place but that feeling is a mirage, that comfort isn’t true. It doesn’t take long to realize they haven’t changed, it’s the same package in new wrapping. Why put yourself thru that when there’s so many other knobs just ready and waiting to be turned.
When we know someone can turn us on, when we know they know what food comforts us when we had a bad day at work. All our friends and family like them or maybe our friends and family have never met them but there’s just something about them that comforts us. That’s not an easy thing to recreate. Those moments don’t just happen overnight. They take time and effort and isn’t it easier to not put in time and effort?
We often judge each other for going back to people that lied, cheated, stole, straight broke hearts! We judge them knowing we’ve probably been in the same situation and did the same exact thing. If you love someone maybe you just have to stand back and let them walk thru those old doors and see for themselves.
As a man the hardest thing ever is knowing a woman is amazing. Knowing she’s a beast in bed, smart, giving, thoughtful and cooks. Knowing she has all these things going for her and for some reason there’s just not the love there that she needs. Knowing that no matter how great she is you’ll never really be in love with her. It’s hard because even though you don’t want her, you don’t like the idea of another man touching her, the idea of another man eating her food or seeing her in panties. You leave that door open for her to come in knowing it’s only out of selfishness. Knowing she’s going to hate you for playing with her.
Walking thru those doors rarely works out. Remember that the next time you have a couple of drinks and his/her name starts looking tempting in that phone.
Demez F. White
@authordwhite on Twitter