Cuffing Season or Settling Season?

182240_562470723185_118401058_31406809_1126638_nIt’s incredibly easy to feel like cold weather and a Boyz II Men Christmas CD is Gods way of telling you that he doesn’t want you to be alone during the Holiday season but isn’t there something sort of off about giving the most intimate and family oriented time of year to someone just because it’s cold or you don’t want to go to Thanksgiving dinner alone?

I’ve been guilty of making cuffing season jokes since Halloween, maybe even before that, but understand something, Cuffing season is a real thing. Outside of the songs and jokes people really do enter into situationships this time of year and there are tangible reasons for it. The weather is colder, the nights come earlier, people don’t want to go out. It feels better lying on the couch watching a movie, cooking and staying warm. The Holidays feel better when there’s someone to share them with even if that’s not someone you were wanting to spend that time with in June or July.

It’s more than just physical interaction by the way and by physical I’m not talking about sex. It’s being close to someone, laying on them, cooking next to them, seeing them step out the shower. Even if you never do more than feel their body heat against yours you’re building a connection with someone based off the fact it’s cold outside. You’re spending Thanksgiving feeding him or her, you’re going to buy them a Christmas gift because you like how they look in a tie or a pair of shoes. Feelings start to develop that aren’t real because come Spring you’re going to want to pursue other options. We all want to be important to someone, the important thing is that it isn’t phantom importance.

There’s a difference between compromising and settling, compromising is having an honest opinion about where you are in life and what you’re looking for and realizing your expectations will have you lonely. Settling is seeing the way someone looks at you and falling in love not with that person but with that feeling. Settling is him calling you and asking if you’re hungry and you remembering how good that feels to know someone is thinking about you. “Cuffing Season” isn’t the time of year to decide which is which. It’s okay to be alone, being alone is better than having to pull yourself out of a situation you never intended on being in anyway.

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