Someone is going to read this and ask, “How is the guy that writes erotica and loves date nights advocating for no sex until marriage?” That’s not exactly what I’m saying. I’m not a virgin and the odds that I’ll meet a woman that’s a virgin are slim but this isn’t about virginity. It’s about simply waiting. In an age where everything is about instant gratification and how soon can I get what I want now would it be so bad to date a person and not have sex with them until there’s an “I Do?” The truth is we know how good sex feels, we know how much it connects us but aren’t those the reasons why it should be sacred? Imagine meeting a person, dating, laughing, kissing and going through this process knowing that they mean so much to you, you were willing to wait.
This isn’t about what any of us have done in the past, whether you’ve slept with 2 men or 200, whether you’ve had a woman in your bed last night or last month. It’s about what you’re going to do now. When we have sex with someone we’re giving a piece of ourselves to them. Call it turning her out, call it being sprung, it’s all a connection we can’t ignore. Aren’t our bodies worth more than that?
If you’re dating a woman with the sincere intentions on one day making her your wife what’s the matter with waiting? I’m not saying you can’t flirt or come to the edge a couple times but isn’t that reward worth pulling back? We’re not animals we should be able to have self control. For most of us, what has sex gotten us outside of pleasure? Children that a lot of people aren’t ready for, emotions and connections that made us do stupid things. Sex is a reward that God gave man and woman for coming together. That ability to create a child, if you just think about how amazingly beautiful that is, you can’t help but smile. That’s not meant to be taken in vain. I can admit to falling short and this article isn’t about judgment or about what we’ve done but about what we’re going to do.
It won’t be easy, they’ll be nights where wine has flowed and sexual tension is boiling. They’ll be nights where you remember the women that came before her and how good they felt and by just looking at her you know she’ll feel ten times better. You’ll have to get up and go home at midnight or sleep on the couch just because you know that there’s no way either of you will be able to say no tonight. It will not be easy but I can promise you it will be worth it. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting my wife yet but I have had the pleasure of being with women and I had the displeasure of feeling that guilt afterwards. I don’t want to feel that anymore. I vow today that the next woman I sleep with will be the woman I’ve just taken vows with. You should join me!
Demez . White