10am Thoughts in Houston

Lounging on my couch, too tired to go write, hungry but not feeling like cooking breakfast I can’t help but to take stock on where I am in this search for a wife. Or for something more meaningful then a situationship.

I’ve been up trying to wonder when’s the last time a woman cooked for me. Breakfast, lunch, dinner? I literally can’t remember. Then I tried to think when’s the last time someone showed up at my home and surprised me with food or wearing something sexy. I can’t remember that.

It seems I’m always the giver. Financially, emotionally, sexually. I’m always the one that has to please, not really asking for much because I don’t want to have to ask. If you like or love someone it should just come natural.

Starting the year I had so much hope. I still have hope but there has to be something in my character that pushes people away.

My Christmas tree is still up; I keep telling myself its because I’m being lazy but it’s more than that. I think it’s the only thing that makes my home feel homey. I’ll take it down before the weekend but for the next day or so I’ll just look at it.

There’s things I miss. Things I need to find in 2014 or else hope may not be enough.

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