For me, a big part of maturing is coming to grips with all the stupid things I did when I was younger. Getting freaky in parking lots where any police officer or criminal could have driven by. Showing up to work late or unprepared, when they opened Super Target in Humble I literally worked there for two weeks, didn’t call or show up for a week and just came back to work like nothing happened. I once called this guy my ex was talking to, yes, I was that guy people. “So why are you and my girl on the phone at 2am?” That Demez made some really dumb decisions and you know what, I think that Demez needed to be dumb so this Demez can prosper. Excuse the third person, had a Kanye moment. All I’m saying is I can appreciate so much more now than I could back then.
I rarely shop these days because when I do I buy nice things. Haven’t bought a coat in maybe three years, I haven’t bought shoes in two. When you buy quality it lasts. A good pair of steel toe boots or loafers don’t break down. A nice pair of casual boots last for years. I’ve never been a tennis shoe guy but I bought my fair share of things that were “on sale” and they shrank when I washed them or looked bad after too many times worn.
A nice cashmere sweater and jeans is my look most winter days because it’s a look that never gets old. I’m not trendy, maybe I never was. I can appreciate clothes that fit well and I get my monies worth out of them. Skinny jeans and high top sneakers, I’m just not about that life.
When I was 25 I thought a nice watch was a 40 dollar watch from Marshalls. When I was 25 I thought quality cologne was anything that smelled good. With age comes an appreciation for what I spend my money on. Saving for three months to buy a nice watch, wearing cologne that only takes a dab and it lasts all day, I can appreciate that now. There’s a real difference between a grass fed, marinated steak and an 8 dollar steak, yeah, I didn’t know that until a couple years ago. Why would anyone spend all that money on a steak? A good conversation with the TV on mute, seeing the grass start to grow back after winter. Celebrating promotions and raises and my friend’s children’s birthdays. Good times that are better than 8 dollar beers at Coco Loco. Scotch and bourbon that have aged.
I can appreciate telling a woman I’ll be there to pick her up at 7 and she’s not ready until 7:45. I have an understanding for beauty and what it takes to be a woman that I didn’t have a 25. How long it takes to get her hair done or nails done or to get this waxed. Why she has a closet full of clothes and still has nothing to wear. I can appreciate sitting on her couch while she’s getting ready talking to me from the bathroom or bedroom. That’s quality time, time that I could spend making her laugh or letting her know she’s worth the wait. At 25 I was looking at my cell phone upset that she couldn’t call me and let me know she wasn’t going to be ready. You learn to appreciate women that are just worth it. You learn to appreciate the fact she doesn’t want to meet you but trust you enough to pick her up. That’s saying a lot these days.
Family is a big one. There are times when I wish I could go back and spend more time with my grandfather. Always chasing girls, chasing overtime, I let so many years go by where I barely said two words to him in a day. When I got older the conversations became more adult but I still didn’t take advantage of his knowledge like I should have. I have more of an appreciation now for my grandmother and my mother and uncles, aunts. Family has always been a priority but now it’s a pleasure.
I could go all day but just know with age comes the realization that I’m still here and I have a chance to appreciate what I couldn’t back then.
Demez F. White