A couple of weeks back I wrote an article talking about how I couldn’t tell a woman what she should be, needs to be, because to define her would be taking away some of the things that make her the individual she is. As men we have a habit of trying to dictate to women everything from how often they should be having sex to how much they should get paid for the same work we do.
I may not be able to tell a woman who or what she can be but I do know what a lady is when I see one. Being a woman is a matter of choice, you can decide to wear what you want, talk how you want, curse and act however, someone will love you for it. Being a lady though is different, it’s a different standard. Not every woman wants to accept that standard the same way not every man wants to accept being a gentleman. I see on social media every day women that have no desire to act ladylike. They curse and say crude things, they post pictures that are offensive, self-deprecating and in some cases just ignorant. The men that they interact with don’t mind, their “friends” don’t mind so in their mind they aren’t doing anything wrong. I wholeheartedly disagree with this concept.
You know what’s sexy to me? What impresses me? Manners, being well spoken, knowing how to flirt or express yourself in a social environment without being crude or vulgar. It’s nice to see a woman that likes wearing dresses and crosses her legs the correct way. There’s something incredibly alluring knowing that the conversations I have with her in private aren’t the same conversations she has in public. I know plenty of women that can drink an entire bottle of wine without bragging about how they love to get drunk. I know even more women that love sex but you’d never know it unless you got to know them personally. That’s being a lady. That seems to be lost these days. I’m not a man that generalizes, I don’t believe in it. I know too many good women to put each of them in a category but there are way too many that think it’s okay to bare it all to the world emotionally, physically and sexually.
There isn’t a thin line between holding someone to standards and being judgmental. The line is quite large. Judgement is attacking, belittling, challenging a woman on who she is when that woman has nothing to do with you. Standards on the other hand mean you’re holding a woman accountable because of who she’s showed you she is or has the potential to be. I believe in holding women I date or am friends with to standards that exude ladylike characteristics. If I don’t know you it’s not my place to speak on you or your habits no matter how tacky I think they are.
Social media has given people this false sense of security like there aren’t repercussions for the things you write or the pictures you post. There’s always people watching. It sounds so fearless to say, “I don’t care what people think!” But you know what? That’s a lie.
Being a lady is still perfect. Dressing up for dinner, taking pride in being smart and funny without being foolish, that’s dope.