Conquering Demons

Conquering Demons

I’m not really sure why I’m up at 3:30am when I have to be at work in 3 hours. I’d like to say it’s because I’m writing but the truth is all I’ve been doing is lying on this couch watching SportsCenter on mute. When I was younger I thought I was an alcoholic until I met some people that had real problems with liquor. Then I realized I wasn’t even close.

There are moments where I feel like it’s all been a blur. Where life is constantly moving and I’m not moving fast enough with it. That scares the hell out of me.

Everytime I meet a new woman and we’re doing well and I’m charming and funny and cool she always asks, “I don’t get it; why are you single?” I’m single because I’m self destructive. I’m not even sure I know how to love someone or make them happy. I know I want to, I know I get lonely, frustrated thinking about it.

My demons are that my talent and insecurities go hand in hand. The same traits that give me the imagination to tell amazing stories have me up in the middle of the night analyzing and over thinking.

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One thought on “Conquering Demons

  1. The gift/curse of being a writer. The most beautiful minds seem to create the most nightmarish insecurities and create problems that don’t even exist. One of my favorite quotes is, “I really believe that if I were not a writer, not a creator, not an experimenter, I might have been a very faithful wife. I think highly of faithfulness. But my temperament belongs to the writer, not to the woman” – Anaïs Nin

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