If You Can’t Be Their Everything: Then How About You Be Their Nothing

20140422-143306.jpg There’s a point in every dating situation where you come to your Rubicon. That point where you want more than what you and that person currently have. In some cases it’s, “I want to be a wife and you still want to play this house/girlfriend-boyfriend game.” In other cases it’s. “I want a relationship, a commitment and you still want to date/talk.” Compromise is cool, being patient is even better but at some point if someone doesn’t want you to be their everything, then they have to be your nothing.

You can’t be a man like me, a man that lives by these values that endear women to you without having had conversations in which women want more. In my younger year I’d stall them, put them off, tell them what they wanted to hear only to have them realize it was never going to happen and end up hating me. I thank God he removed me from that mindset.

There is a certain calm that comes with releasing a person from mental and emotional bondage. If you know they like you more than you like them it’s selfish to hold onto them knowing you can never give them what they want. Sure you’re content because it isn’t affecting you and in most cases you genuinely like the person but will you ever genuinely love them?

I can’t take credit for these words because I found them online somewhere but I once read, “Sometimes a man’s job is to make the woman he’s with better for the man she’ll eventually marry.” I can’t tell you how many times I read that and thought about all the women I’ve dated and loved than seemed to find true happiness once I left their lives. That didn’t mean I wasn’t a good man, it just meant I wasn’t meant to be their man. I couldn’t be their everything so I ended being their nothing and in that initial hurt they realized they deserved better and they found better. How can I not respect that?

Know your worth and if you really want something, hold out for it.

Demez F. White

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