How many years did Adam and Eve run around before they realized they were naked? She often wondered that when she would open the door naked, sleep naked, go to the kitchen in the middle of the night with nothing on but nail polish. For as long as she could remember it never bothered her. Men she dated thought it was because she wanted to be sexy, friends thought she wanted to get a shock out of them but once they got to know her, really know her. They just realized she loved her body and didn’t see it as anything worth hiding.
She always wore her robe when the children were around but since their rooms were upstairs and hers downstairs as soon as they were sleep the robe came off. Lying in bed, her attention divided between Instagram and a book she heard the knock on the door. Not thinking twice she got up to open it, her friend told her she was on her way.
Pulling the door open her smile faded. Her eyes red, the overnight bag in her hand. A baseball cap covering her curly hair, she knew she wasn’t in a good place. Pulling her in for a hug, they just stood there in the doorway. Squeezing her, rubbing her back, she had no idea what the warmth of her body was doing the woman. How her scent entwined with her friend’s vulnerability created a tension masked as sadness.
There were four bedrooms in the house, her children each had a room and there was a guestroom. She Melissa needed to talk so she didn’t think twice when she followed her to her room and got in the bed with her. Watching her friend take off her cap and jeans and climb in the bed she felt guilty. Their relationship wasn’t what it used to be and a lot of that was on her. Work and kids demanded time, time she didn’t have to be the friend she once was.
“Is he still at your apartment?” The covers were under the covers together, thigh to thigh, she didn’t answer right away but she knew she’d heard her.
“He left a couple days ago. I’ve been at work mostly, spent a night at my moms, then my sisters, now I’m here. Every time I climb into that bed I feel him inside of me, is that weird? That my body is reacting to a man that’s not even there? I go in the kitchen and I see beer in the fridge, I hate beer. I’m so used to sleeping in his t-shirts it felt weird putting on a nightgown.”
She was venting, ranting but she knew what it was like to lose someone that mattered. Those first couple weeks it was like you couldn’t imagine what life was like before that person.
“Can I tell you something crazy.” She turned on her pillow facing her, the sheets falling to her waist.
“What?” She smiled, having gotten used to the braces.
“He told me I was in love with you.” She started laughing, laughing so hard tears came to her eyes.
“He said what?! Men really are a trip, he cheats and gets caught so he makes some shit up in his head? Asshole.” It wasn’t until she looked at her friend’s face that she realized she wasn’t laughing or even smiling.
“Lissa, tell me he’s crazy.” The silence made her wish she was wearing clothes, at least a pair of panties.
“I wish I could say he was lying.” She put her hands in her head, wondering if she’d noticed something before. A look, a smile?
“You’re beautiful Elle, you’re funny and sexy and you’re always here when I just need a friend. I pleasure myself to you. One night I stayed over and you and Tim were having sex. I guess because all the other rooms are upstairs you two had the door cracked. I just came down for some water but when I heard the moans I came in and saw you riding him. The way your hips moved and your hair falling. Your ass bouncing. I just watched and wondered when it would feel like to have you on top of me like that.”
A part of her knew this was real, she had some wine and was a little sleepy but there was no doubt in her mind her friend of six years was really saying this to her. Flashbacks of the one time she’d ever been with a woman erupted in her mind. It was the first time in her life she’d had an orgasm. No man had touched her the way that woman did but she threw up immediately afterwards and felt like it was wrong regardless of what her body told her.
Was she giving her friend signals without knowing it? She was naked, inches from her in a bed as they were talking.
“Say something. You’re not blind, you know I’ve been with women before. You’re lying in bed with nothing on. Opening the door with nothing on! I could kiss you in places and do things to you that no man can!”
Before she knew it she was standing up with the sheet wrapped around her. Not feeling comfortable with the way she was looking at her. Watching her take off her tank top, step out her panties and come towards her she gripped the sheet and backed up towards the door.
“You need to go upstairs and sober up and put your clothes back on. No matter what you think this isn’t happening! We’re friends and I’m not feeling you like that.”
Sitting on the bed crying she wanted to console her friend. She wanted to be there but now she just didn’t know.
To Be Continued…