I often write about sex when I write stories. Sex is universal, it makes sense on a lot of levels to a lot of people but tonight I don’t want to write a story and I don’t want to write about sex, I want to write about sensuality and why that means so much more than sex.
Listening to the radio the other day they had some local rapper on there joking about ‘Sex is better than love,’ And I get why people feel that way but I don’t think they get the point of why love is better than sex and in this case why sensuality is better than sex.
Sensuality isn’t just those sensual moments where you lock eyes after a date or kiss her on the neck from behind. I mean, those are the moments that get the attention, that we remember when times are bad and lust fills our mind. Real sensual moments are the moments that are selfless. The moments where no one else is going to see how vulnerable she is, when she’s lying on the couch looking a mess, pissed off and not feeling good. When she’s mad at the world and taking it out on you because you’re there and because she knows you love her enough to deal with it.
That moment when she lays her head on your lap and just falls asleep or that moment when you rub her stomach or her ass and she just closes her eyes. That’s sensuality because you both know the moment isn’t going to end with hot sex or super four play but it doesn’t matter because you have no intentions of going anywhere.
Men are supposed to be tough, we kill bugs and fix cars and drive to the store in thunderstorms to get snacks and liquor. We’re also human, we feel and lose and get frustrated. Sensuality is being able to share those frustrations and fears with her and not worry about how you’re perceived or what you did wrong. Lying on her thighs, feeling her warmth, her hands in your hair or her laugh making life better. That’s sensual, that’s a perfect moment and the older you get in life the less of those perfect moments you have.
I entitled this blog Kissing, Cuddling and Sunday’s because those three things go together like ice cream, hot chocolate and whip cream. I could kiss all day, I love nice lips and wet tongues and the closeness that I feel when that kiss happens. Sensual isn’t the word for the connection that comes with something feeling so damn right!
I write a lot, I spend hours in front of this computer. Putting this machine on standby, showering and crawling into bed at 3am, her body molding to mine like a magnet as soon as I hit the sheets. She never stops snoring, she never turns around, she just backs up and finds that comfort in my chest. Maybe she’s in a nightgown, maybe panties, maybe naked. But it’s not sexual, it’s sensual.
I’m good with words, I’ve always been good with words. But no matter how good I am at expressing myself I could never fully articulate the perfection there is in sensuality. That’s why it’s better than sex. Have you ever had sex with an attractive person you didn’t really like? It’s not that fun to be honest. Outside of the 20 or 30 minutes of pleasure you spend the entire time worried about if she has a man or if she’s fertile or if she’s going to start tripping. Sex and sensuality don’t go together because sex is simply an act. An act that has consequences that can affect you the rest of your life.
Touches that are comforting, kisses that are warming, words that are becoming of who the two of you are; there’s no doubt, no fear, that gives me life!