1. You’re at work or wake up in the middle of the night and you just want to send an “I miss you” text.
2. She tells you she doesn’t feel good and all you can think about is ways to heal her, make her smile, make her feel better. Chicken soup out the can in pretty tupperware; orange juice with no pulp and a dash of whiskey even though you aren’t even sure it’ll work.
3. You get upset when she tells you, “I was thinking about coming by but I didn’t.” You just want to see her. Want to have her under you, want to her that door shut and her coming up the porch to the front door. Knowing if she’s not with you there’s the possibility she can be with someone else.
4. Caring about the little stuff just isn’t something you do anymore.
5. Talking about her is cool, you laugh and smile at something she did when the person you’re talking to could care less.
6. The words don’t seem so foreign coming off your tongue anymore. “This is my girlfriend.” “I love you.” “What’s the matter?”
7. Some guy comments on her pictures and you look at his profile wondering who he is, wondering if she knows him. Wondering if he text her or says funny things to her. Wondering if you can beat him up or if she bites her lip and smiles for him like she does with you. You refuse to admit you’re jealous but it’s not really jealousy. It’s self preservation because you’re at a point now that without her, you just won’t make it.
8. It just feels like happy.
It’s not awkward because it’s weird or strange. It’s awkward because you don’t know whether or not you’re ready. What do you do with someone’s heart? That’s a lot of responsibility. Relationships aren’t pretty, perfect things that can fit inside of quotes. Relationships are about being there for someone when they’re hurting, at their worst. You’re the person that brings them comfort and lets them know, “You’re not doing this alone no matter how much you push me away or smother me.”
That awkward moment you fall in love is the moment you’ll never want to fall out of love.
Demez F. White