I’m All In

cba 3I write these two page short stories every now and again because I want people to know what they’re getting when they buy my novel. I use my name because I put my emotions and my life in these words, in every word.

“Is it real?” I put my Corona on the floor and leaned back, was she serious?

“Do you want to touch it and see if it’s real?” She smiled and blew me a kiss.

I couldn’t remember the last time I was speechless about anything. She was standing in front of me, her jeans unzipped, her wet t-shirt pulled up past her bra and her pink nails removing the bandage. I wasn’t surprised by what she was about to show me but I was surprised that she’d actually went through with it.

It never came up but I was sure she got some kind of laser hair removal down there because every since I’d known her intimately it was as smooth as babies skin. There they were, staring me in the face. Two letters about the size of big paper clips sitting right below her panty line. Damn near glowing from the ointment that was covering them.

I downed my beer and stood up. Her eyes wouldn’t leave mine.

I wish I could front but I couldn’t, seeing my initials on someone so beautiful did something to my ego. This wasn’t a woman that had a bunch of tattoos or was impulsive, she thought about everything she did, we talked about everything to the point of wanting to strangle each other at times. So the fact that she did this scared me more than anything.

It told me she wasn’t playing any games. I rubbed my hand across the D first and then the W. Outside of a wedding ring or a baby how much more real could a situation get? She let her panties go and the lace covered my finger. I didn’t move it.

The rain was coming down harder now.

“I told you the other night this was yours.” She took my hand and slid it a couple of inches to the left, we were still standing.

“I wasn’t lying to you the yesterday, if I can’t have you, I swear no one will because no one else is going to have me!” She put her head in the crook of my neck and started to suck, she was a bitter.

Looking out the window at the rain falling, looking at the table, at her cell phone glowing with our picture on the screen I knew she was in deep. I was sure I loved her but the intensity with which she loved me was crazy. Before her I thought I had jealousy issues, after her I really learned what jealousy issues were. Even with everything that was going on in my head, the harder she sucked my neck the harder I pushed my two fingers inside of her. She was grinding on them, I knew it was just a matter of time before she pushed me down on the couch.

The tattoo was real, my initials were on her for life now. Did I even want that kind of responsibility in my life?

She pushed me on the couch and tried to climb on top of me, I stopped her and flipped her on the couch. I fell to my knees and pulled down her jeans just a bit, pulled at her panties just a bit and wiped the tattoo with my t-shirt. Then I licked it and kissed it.

She rubbed my hair and looked down at me, “What are you doing D?”

I looked up and pulled her shirt down, I kissed her stomach. “Would you die for me, fight for me?”

Her lips felt so soft on my forehead. “If there’s no you, there’s no me.” I pulled her face to mine and kissed her, the thunder made her jump so I kissed her harder.

“It’s throbbing baby, can you stop all this touching and kissing and kiss “it?”” I stood her up, zipped up her jeans and pinched her nipple.

“I promise to stop the throbbing when we get back.” I grabbed my jacket off the couch and opened the door with the rain coming down hard.

“It’s nasty out there boy! Where are we going?” She was pulling at my belt and trying to get my shirt off.

“Back to the tattoo place, if you’re all in. So am I.”

No more words needed to be said, she just cut off the lights and grabbed her jacket. “I’ll take care of you in the car, let’s go.” The smile on her face was huge.

I locked the door and went to get her initials.

Maybe we had some sort of crazy co-dependent relationship.

Maybe I was drawn to her because she needed saving and I needed to be needed.

Maybe having the novel out and having a career that was blossoming didn’t fulfill me like I thought it would.

Either way, yesterday morning when I woke with her straddling me, tears in her eyes and a silk scarf in her hands.

“I’ll kill you or myself before I let you leave me, do you understand me?” She was naked, her eyes were almost swollen from the tears, all I could do was hold her to stop the shaking. Most men would have ran or been scared. I’d never been more infatuated, more in love.

When you’re alone for so long you tend to appreciate when someone loses their mind over you and in turn you probably lose a little of your mind. Was I losing mines?

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