Whatever You Did to Get Her: Do That to Keep Her

20140422-013941.jpg This weekend I saw a lot of people celebrating life. Weddings, engagements, people uplifting their fathers and grandfathers. There’s one common dominator in all of this. It all starts with a man and a woman.

Too many people get complacent once things get comfortable. I hear guys say it all the time, “I have her on lock, she loves me, she isn’t going anywhere.” At first glance you’d think they were just talking but the truth is most men believe this.

It’s a dangerous way of thinking and living and let me tell you why. The courtship process, the making her fall in love with you process is fairly simple because you can’t fake chemistry or fate. It’s also pretty simple to keep her happy, just do what you did to make her fall in love. This is the dangerous part; if a woman falls out of love with you the odds of you getting her back are so small.

I don’t know how many of you have heard this phrase but it’s much easier to build a house from scratch then it is to fix the house someone started working on and abandoned. That’s pretty much how relationships work.

When you build that foundation from scratch and do everything the right way you have few worries. All you have to do is maintain. Sure, they’ll be problems but easy fixes. Once you start to let things go downhill, once you stop maintaining, you’re opening up the door for everything to collapse.

People love to say, “You don’t know a good thing until it’s gone.” I don’t think that’s true. Most men are fully aware that they have/had a good woman; they just never thought they would lose her. That’s why so many men are genuinely devastated when women leave. I’ve never been involved with someone that didn’t warn me she needed more. Whether it wasn’t me calling enough or spending enough time or being affectionate enough.

Rarely do women just wake up one day and say, “This is over.” There are always signs. All those signs usually start around the time men stop being the man they were when they courted her. If you bought flowers and candy while you were dating, why stop now? If you went on real dates and always had a fresh edge up when you were dating, why stop now? By being the man she fell in love with, she’ll probably never fall out of love.

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