Guess What? It’s Okay To Have Values

Hers It’s okay to have values.

It’s okay to care what people think about you.

Everyone isn’t going to like you and that’s fine.

I’ve never particularly cared if I was liked as long as I was respected. In life you have to have a value system, you have to hold yourself to certain standards and live by certain beliefs even if people don’t agree with you. Everyone isn’t going to like you or be your friend but when people see that you’re about your word and honest; they’ll respect you.

Over the past couple years I’ve had my rationale questioned when it comes to women. People read my writing and think I have this unrealistic expectation of women or my views are that of a man that wants a woman barefoot and pregnant. Most of those people have either never really read my writing or read excerpts and make an opinion.

I don’t believe in calling women out of their names (the bedroom excluded.) If I can’t get my point across without a bunch of b**ches and hoes then I’m not much of a writer or man. I feel as though conversation can solve most of our problems, most misunderstandings stem from miscommunication or third parties. I’d rather be the guy that makes you laugh instead of the guy that’s too cool for the room. I have no desire to have a woman be barefoot and pregnant but I do feel like as a man it’s my job to give her that option to stay at home if that’s what she wants.

My writing is all about holding men accountable. When a man is genuine and loving and a leader then 9 out of 10 times the woman is going to appreciate it and respect it and both of us will thrive. What’s happening is standards are getting lower and lower, what was unacceptable in my grandparents generation, in my parents’ generation has almost become the norm. It’s literally cool now to be an asshole, to be disrespectful, to make fun of others. I have no desire to be that person or to date that person. You know what’s attractive to me? Being nice, being sweet, being caring.

If we can have sex but you aren’t willing to introduce me to your parents then that’s a problem. If we can get drunk and make out in a parking lot but can’t pray together, go to bible study together, then that’s a problem. I don’t want you coming to my home at 2am, not because I don’t want to see you but because we live in a dangerous world and if you want to see me, I’ll come to you. If a woman sends me a sexy pic I’m going to admire it and delete it because phones get stolen all the time; I don’t want her image out there. If we’re meeting for dinner then I’m going to pick a restaurant on her side of town because I’d rather drive home tipsy then have her because the odds that she isn’t going to drive and text are slim. That’s my value system, that’s who I am. I won’t apologize for it.

I take pride in seeing that a woman’s car is dirty and washing it. I like asking her for her keys so I can fill her car up because I have never met a woman that likes pumping gas. The best phone call in the world is when you can hear the smile in her voice when she jumps in a clean, fueled car knowing you’re the one that did that. We throw these words around like tricking, thirst, whipped when what I think you mean is spoiling, protecting, providing for. When I have a conversation with a woman I care about we’re not talking about other people, we’re talking about us. Our careers, our futures, our families. There’s value in honesty, in sincerity. If I say something that’s offensive or ignorant, tell me and I can either apologize or try to word what I was saying better. Life is too short for enemies, that’s my belief.

~ Demez F. White

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