Attraction is one of the most raw qualities we have. You can’t control it, there’s no internal debates, you just see a person and know you want them.
Attraction is natural and understandable. What’s not natural nor understandable is degrading or insulting others. We throw around words like ugly, dumb, fat, gay, stupid and no matter if they’re said out of hate, sarcasm, humor or anger they leave mental and emotional scars.
Everyone is beautiful to someone even if that someone isn’t you. What I don’t understand is why people focus so much on who they aren’t attracted to? What’s the value in that? In telling a person they’re ugly or fat or stupid. Focus on what does attract you to someone, on what does make you happy.
It took me a long time to find out who I was.
I was born with a misshaped head, the doctors screwed up. It was literally crooked, warped, whatever word you want to use. For years kids mocked me, made fun of me. There were days I didn’t even want to go to school. I literally had to have my gallbladder removed from anxiety and eating problems. Ugly, weirdo, whop head. Kids are relentless and some adults. It got better over the years but that changed me. It made me appreciate nice people. It’s why I despise bullies and the cowards that ignore them. I fought back by learning to hide the hurt, by learning to be the smartest guy in the room, self deprecating. It’s why I started writing, an outlet.
Life is a gift and for years I felt sorry for myself. Oral surgery for better teeth, cologne, watches, clothes. Anything to cover what I thought were imperfections. My entire life I’ve been called smart, funny, manner-able and none of that compared to the first time a woman called me handsome. I didn’t even believe her. I’m confident now, secure but that are a lot of people that aren’t.
I fought a lot but it didn’t stop so I learned to use words. Really hateful words in an articulate way. Words that cut people at their core. I learned to hide the emotions that came from insults.
Let people be great. When you feel the urge to mock someone, compliment them. Love outweighs hate.
Demez F. White