7 Awkward Everyday Moments
When you’re in the restroom, make eye contact with a guy and he doesn’t wash his hands. I can see not washing your hands if you didn’t see me but you saw me see you. Nasty!
When you’re at a restaurant with a friend and she’s talking about another guy but looks down when the check comes. “Dude, we’re friends, I wouldn’t pay for my boy’s fondue I’m not paying for yours.” When I was younger I’d probably do it out of some misguided idea of what a man is supposed to be but not now.
You’re in a parking lot knowing you’re going down the wrong way of a one way and someone is coming in the right direction. Do I back up? Do they back up? I’m already going to wrong direction so backing up would just make matters worse, they’re looking like, “What’s up man! You’re going the wrong way.” Awkward.
You make it to a restaurant right before they’re about to close, you already feel a little bad because it’s 10:50 and they close at 11:00 but you’re starving. The servers are looking at you like, “really bro?!” They serve you, your food comes out and they screwed up your order. Everyone’s waiting to leave and you have to send it back. Awkward.
You’re texting a woman all night, she finally hits you with that combination smiley face, lol, wyd. You tell her “I’m chilling” and she asks if you want some company. You jump up, clean the house like Superman trying to save Louis Lane and when she gets there and sees the candles and hears the music and you two look at each other and her eyes say, “Did you think you were getting some ass?” Awkward.
You buy an outfit, you are feeling the hell out of yourself. It fits right, it looks right, the haircut is right and then you get to where you’re going and it’s lame. There are no women, the place is half empty so you creep on out. Carefully hang up the outfit, make sure there’s no stains, no wrinkles. Knowing you can wear it tomorrow. Only to realize someone shot a picture of you while you weren’t looking. Now you’re tagged in it online and the outfit is wasted. Awkward.
You’re eating at work, you’ve cooked an amazing meal and it’s been on your mind since the night before when you were too tired to eat it. You sit down to eat, steam coming off the container and the sad guy in the office sits right across from you drinking water out a styrofoam cup. Looking at your food like, “You sure do have a lot.” You ignore him and savor every bite. Awkward.