I wrote an article a while back entitled “There’s No Such Thing As Meaningless Sex,” and my logic was every time we give ourselves to someone we give a piece of ourselves to them. Whether it’s mentally, spiritually, emotionally or just physically. I thought it was a pretty straight forward piece but people actually disagreed with me in the comments. I’m not a man that believes in “I’m right, leave me alone.” If you have a differing opinion, I’d like to hear it and understand it.
For the most part it was a lot of people that were trying to belittle the spiritual aspect. I’m not going to argue with those people but there were also people that simply believe they can have sex with no emotional attachment. I can’t relate to that but who was I to tell them otherwise? Not to mention I can understand it.
Then there was one woman that sort of summed everything up in one breath, in one sentence. “Sex is always important, the person you’re having it with just might not be.” In that moment I realized that my logic wasn’t wrong but I hadn’t accounted for one very important, very particular thing. Good sex and good people are in one category and bad sex and people that don’t move you or in another. I still believe that sex on any level should be intimate but I can’t attach my beliefs to society as a whole. There are some women you look forward to holding after it’s over and some who you hand a paper towel and look to make sure she didn’t leave her panties. Some men get breakfast and looks of admiration; some men get looks of, “why did I waste you on my body count?”
In a perfect world which is where some of my writing takes place all of us are created equal. Not literally but just individually. That’s not right and I know it isn’t right but I’m still trying to figure out how to incorporate core values with what’s happening in the real world. I’m working on that as a writer. I never want my words to come off as judgmental but I also don’t want to write what people want to hear. Sex is addictive and a part of addictions that’s scary is sometimes you get addicted to the wrong person and wrong situation.
~ Demez F. White