I’m sure he’s a great guy, a good man. He probably calls you and asks if you need anything before he comes over. He opens your door and hugs you. But does your heart beat uncontrollably when you know he’s on the other side of that door? Does your body betray you and want him even when your mind is saying “wait?”
I know you’re comfortable around him. Your friends think he’s sweet, he calls you at just the right times, text you seconds after you text him. But does he push you against the door and take that kiss? Does he turn you around and kiss your shoulders, suck your shoulders? Or does he ask.
He believes in you but he doesn’t know how to motivate you.
He takes you dancing but has he ever whispered in your ear, “Dance for me baby.”
With him it’s peaceful and everything’s according to plan. You’re not that type of woman though. You like the occasional argument, the sex in inappropriate places, the road trips on a Wednesday just because.
I don’t know if I’m a better man than him but I know we make each other better. I know when we’re in bed it’s about more than sex, more than sleep. We touch each other without ever touching each other. You’re comfortable with him but with me you’re comfortable.
I once wrote that you’re single until you’re married and I meant that. I’d never try and take a woman that’s in a happy and healthy relationship but I’d by lying to you and myself if I didn’t recognize the obvious. He can’t make you as happy as I can make you.
I made a mistake. I opened that door for him. I have to live with the consequences of that. I don’t owe him anything, therefore if you have to break his heart for your heart to come home. So be it.
Or maybe this is all in my head and you never existed at all.