Whether or not I meant to the words I didn’t know. It was impossible to know, I wasn’t a fool I knew where she was. And why she couldn’t decide between either of us was something that drove me mad. My hands were wrapped around her neck, she was naked and it would take so little to choke the life out of her. The tears were falling but I had no way to know if they were real or if she was just in my head like she always was.
“If you don’t believe me…. If you don’t love me… Do it! DO IT! DO IT YOU FUCKING COWARD! CHOKE ME NOW IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME!?”
“Why are you doing this?! You either believe me or you don’t!”
For two months I didn’t get so much as a phone call, a text message, a damn letter! And now she was standing in front of me telling me that it was mines. Telling me her heart was in my hands. I knew the truth, we both knew the truth but the truth was always relative when it came to her.
“How do I make you a believer!!!? I’m here aren’t I!? I’m right fucking here!!!” She started to take off her clothes, there was nothing sexy about it. Nothing passionate about her motions. She was doing what I needed her to do. What I wanted her to do.
“Don’t do that?! DON’T DO THAT!!!! Put the fucking clothes back on!” I turned my back and took the glass of cognac to the head…
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