I used to write about sex often but I’ve slowed that over the past couple of years. No specific reason, I just wanted to become a better writer, become a more diverse writer. That doesn’t mean that sex doesn’t cross my mind, that nights like this I don’t lie on the couch and wish there were a warm pair of thighs straddling me. I’ve just learned to appreciate quality over quantity. To wait for my time and not rush.
Saying all that; these are the nasty things I miss about having a girlfriend. Some of these will be a tad bit explicit so if that’s not your thing I suggest you stop reading now. I’ve often written this but I haven’t had to say it in awhile. I’m a man that writes for adults with adult experiences and adult emotions. Being nasty, having erotic and carnal thoughts are innate in us.
When she’s giving you a blow job and she swallows and lets it sit on her tongue for a second right before she does like, “I told you I love the way you taste.”
When you’re somewhere really quiet or serious and you’re about to fall asleep or your mind is on business or something and she whispers in your ear, “I’m stressed, I need to ride your face tonight.”
When she’s fresh out the shower and her robe or t-shirt is sticking to her body, you know she’s not wearing anything underneath. She has that look like she’s tired so you know there’s no sex tonight. But then you can feel her breath on your neck, her hands roaming and that first kiss. That first kiss is so damn powerful. She looks you in the eyes and tells you, “You can put it wherever you want baby.”
There’s the moments when she’s cooking and you just stand in the doorway, not saying anything, not trying to scare her. Just watching, appreciating her ass, her neck, her legs. Thinking to yourself, “How did I get this lucky?” Walking up behind her, your hand up her shirt, your lips on the back of her neck. She’s still stirring, still mixing, smiling, laughing, “You’re going to make me burn the food, stop, you know what that does to me.” Everything in you wants to put her on the counter but it smells so good so you get one last kiss and walk away. Knowing after dinner she’s going to be insatiable.
You have attraction, that physical, raw attraction. You can’t control that, you can’t not want to touch her, not want to lick her or bite her. Even if it’s not good for you or you know it’s going to have repercussions. We’ve all experienced that. Then you have that attraction that transcends the physical. You see her body, you see her curves, you can’t keep your hands off her thighs while you’re driving. She can’t stop playing with your ear while you’re trying to watch the game. It’s almost not even sexual but just purposeful. Like there’s something that’s addictive about just having your hands on them. You know what that is? It’s intimacy, it’s touching her without having to touch her. It’s reading her mind and not knowing the details but knowing whether she’s happy, sad, wet, angry, hurting or just feeling playful. It’s those moments when you know that she’s the one. Not when you’re inside of her or when you call and she doesn’t pick up. It’s the moments where intimacy rises above our beings.