I saw this meme the other day that said, “Sometimes a man’s job is to make her better for the next man,” or it could have said, “Sometimes a man’s job is to prepare her for her husband.” Don’t quote me on either one, just know I agree with the sentiment. Knowing what you don’t want in life is just as important as knowing what you do want. Hating her because you feel like you’re the perfect man for her and not understand why she doesn’t want you is drinking poison and hoping she dies. Happiness comes when you accept they are doing you a favor by walking away and that goes for a man or woman. Do you really want to be the person someone settled for?
It’s going to storm tonight. I spent the day cleaning up, sleeping, doing a little writing. Tonight I’ll cook dinner and listen to some jazz. A year ago, maybe even six months ago I would call someone to come over. Not for sex or because I was lonely but because nights like this are better with company. Nights like this are better with laughter and her sitting at the kitchen table talking and smiling while I cook. Call it companionship, call it courtship, call it friendship, either way it feels good. The problem is though, those feelings don’t last if there aren’t real intentions behind them. What’s an amazing night if tomorrow doesn’t matter?
You know a feeling we’ve all felt? Being at dinner with someone or having a conversation and we know that the person across from us is feeling us. You know that he or she would do anything in the world for you because you are you. It’s in the way they look at you, the way they talk to you, the way they talk about you. But no matter how much you try and care as much as they care, you just can’t, it’s not in you. You want to be turned on, you want to be excited but it’s just not there. At that point you have two options, you allow them to keep falling or you allow them to find someone that’s going to look at them like they look at you. Their love that you can’t accept is going to make you better because you realized it and let them go.