(Her Words) They always say it will happen when you least expect it. My mother always told me that when I became solely focused on bettering myself and my situation, is when the proverbial “He” would walk in. But honestly before I met my “He”, I never thought that this approach would work for me.
(His Words) No matter how many conversations I have or how many women I date the same feelings always arise. Is she the one for me? Can I make her happy? Can I spend forever with her? I had a conversation with my grandfather once where he told me, “Don’t ever trip over one woman because there are too many out there for that.” For so long I lived by that until I realized that approach wouldn’t work for me. It wouldn’t work for me because one woman is all I’ve ever needed.
Step Two- The Unexpected Date
(Her Words) Every woman likes the anticipation and excitement of the first date. The choosing of the outfit and the fretting over the hair and makeup are oftentimes better than the date itself. Women tend to build up the whole evening in our minds. We imagine that he will show up with flowers, have the whole evening planned to suit our specific tastes, and be the perfect gentleman. However, when our prince reverts to a frog, the excitement quickly turns to disappointment.
I have heard that friends make the best lovers. It can be hard to imagine but now I understand. How do you transition from telling him about all of your man problems and woes, to him being the source of them?
(His Words) It wasn’t supposed to be a date. There were supposed to be fifteen people there but when I arrived it was just her. Just her smile, just her hair, just her eyes. I can’t say I was nervous or scared or anything but comfortable. This wasn’t supposed to be a date but how could it not feel like one with me being with the most beautiful woman in the room. She was funny, charming, soft, polite, she even bought my movie ticket. It wasn’t supposed to be a date but five hours later, a bottle of wine and countless smiles and laughs it was the best date of my life.
Step Three- Falling in the Moment
(Her Words) The ultimate sign that you are on the right path is when you experience what I like to call flow and what the Buddhist call Nirvana. When you experience it once, you will go to great lengths to recapture that feeling. Work and familial duties are neglected, an unwise lack of sleep becomes appealing, and you start receiving worried texts from your friends. Messages of concern and welfare checks replace happy hour and girls night invitations.
(His Words) One text turns into one conversation, one conversation turns into four hours of conversation. It’s 4am and you realize you still don’t want to get off the phone. It’s 4am and you realize it’s been a decade since you’ve talked to a woman for this long. No matter how much you yawn or look at the time you don’t want to be anywhere else but in that moment with her. That moment is me falling and falling feels like the best uncertainty in the world.
Step Four- The Heart Wants What It Wants
(Her Words) When it’s right, you know. The superficial list of what you thought you wanted and what you thought you needed becomes like a seed that blows away in the wind. When your heart meets its complement, you know. You feel so comfortable that spending time together becomes second nature. It feels good. It feels natural. It fits you. It suddenly and unexpectedly takes root and there is no turning back.
(His Words) “I hate to see you cry but I love to see her smile.” Andre 3000 said something like that and I can’t agree with him more. Canceling plans to be with her, ignoring calls to be with her, sitting at home writing and reading because when you’re falling no woman compares to the woman that has set up shop in your heart and taken a hold of everything you are. No matter how hard you try to rationalize that it’s too soon, that it’s too early to have these feeling, your heart wants what it wants and once that happens it’s no turning back.
Step Five- Déjà vu
(Her Words) They say that Déjà vu exists as a sign to show you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, experiencing exactly what you are supposed to be experiencing, with exactly who you are supposed to be experiencing it with.
(His Words) Have I been here before? When I’m with her it reminds me of my dreams, it reminds me of my desires. It reminds me of moments that feel like the best times of my life. Kiss me under the light of a 1000 stars, the moon shining bright, her eyes sucking me in as though a meteor is bearing down on me. This feels like Déjà vu because this feels like the beginning steps to forever.