Social media validation is the equilivant to buying a stock that feels really hot and trendy but has no actual value. You can post a picture that has 200 likes but are those 200 likes from strangers and associates more valuable than a genuine compliment from one man that adores you? As a man I can post, “I cooked too much food and hate eating alone,” and get a woman or two messaging me. Does that mean as much as texting my girlfriend I cooked her favorite meal? Seeking outside validation will eventually find you on the outside looking in.
1. Nothing is private anymore. If people aren’t posting their issues online, they’re telling their friends or associates. The idea that what happens between a man and a woman should stay between a man and a woman has become as outdated as the Blackberry that sits in my desk drawer.
2. “Likes” matter more than intentions. One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone sends me a picture and 5 seconds later it’s online. The idea that everyone needs to see this opposed to just one person is engrained in out generation.
3. Having standby relationship alternatives. Your man doesn’t call you enough, cool, I have a homeboy I can talk too. Your woman doesn’t cook enough, cool, I have a homegirl that always cooks enough to get me a plate. We invite options into our lives and then wonder why we don’t want to fight for something that could be great.
4. Pretending gender roles don’t exist. There is an entire generation of women that don’t value being a lady. There is an entire generation of men that think it’s corny to spoil, court, take care of.
5. We’ve taken the value out of boyfriends and girlfriends. I’ve been guilty of this myself. One of my biggest blogs was entitled, “You’re Single Until You’re Married.” That’s not accurate. It’s okay to be faithful to a woman while you’re in a relationship. It’s okay to claim someone and not entertain people you know want you. Be a boyfriend, get her a dog, let her spend the night so you know what she’s like once she gets comfortable. And if it doesn’t workout, cool, you gave it your all.