I have a hard time saying, “I love you.”
Not saying it in the sense that I have a hard time falling in love but just saying the words. I feel like every time I say them too often it loses it’s meaning a little. Those three words are meant to be said during those special moments where your heart skips a beat.
Saying that out loud as I wrote it made me sound Kenny G soft but you get what I mean.
There’s a point in every relationship where you have to make a decision to fight or flight. I’ve been listening to 90.9 KTSU all day while I’m at work and they’ve been playing these old R&B songs. As I listen to them, really listen to them I hear these men talking about these women in a way that men rarely do today. Men talking about loving women that have husbands, men talking about loving women that have moved on but they only want one night.
Music isn’t like that today. Guys brag about sleeping with another mans’ woman but how often do you hear a guy sing about being in love with another mans’ woman? So it made me think, why don’t guys talk about fighting for women anymore? Is it pride? Is it arrogance? Is it feeling that women are replaceable and if she won’t act right another woman will?
Normally I would write in 3rd person as to shift this away from myself but tonight I’ll use me as an example. I think I told myself I would never fight for a woman because how could she truly love me if she allowed another man into her world, into that space where it was even a competition? I get competing for her affections if we’re dating but if we are a couple then how did it make it pass that place that should only be reserved for me?
That was my logic in my younger days and even just a couple years ago but what I came to realize is that thinking like that means you’ve stopped seeing what everyone else sees. Look at a relationship like an NBA season. You could play your ass off and win a championship and enjoy the spoils of that trophy but one day you have to wake up and play that season all over again and the joy you felt from that ring will be eclipsed by the disappointment of not even making the playoffs. So when you get a woman and you win her heart, the season may be over but you still have an entire career worth of Championship moments. Are you willing to compete or are you going to say, “I already won so why am I still giving my all?”
If you push her away or stop being the man you were when she first met you there are repercussions to those actions and life is really cool in this way. Most of the decisions we make are ours to make. Whether you fight or flight; just know in the end you’re the one that has to live with that choice.