Whenever I write about relationships I tell people I’m no expert. I’m not the man that’s going to give you five steps on how to be this perfect man or how to find your perfect woman. I’m simply a guy that’s sharing my experiences and learning as I go. One thing I’ve learned more than anything this past year is that arguments will happen and it isn’t the arguments that hurt your relationship, it’s what happens after.
My girlfriend and I both have social media profiles, followings. What we say matters, not on a Kim and Kanye level but on a level that will have people interested or at the very least paying attention. What neither of us can do is let our emotion or passion or anger spread to the world of social media.
Early in our relationship she’d get mad at me and get all Meek Mill with the Twitter fingers and I had to sit her down and let her know that’s not okay. And when I was upset or frustrated it wasn’t okay for me to run to my blog and write about it. You know what is okay? Working out, going to take a nap, calling your sister or friend to vent.
There’s nothing impressive about holding grudges and resentment with someone you want to hold and kiss and laugh with. It doesn’t make you gangster depriving yourself of kisses and tacos because the person you’d cross an ocean for pissed you off. Let that hurt go, put that phone down, cool down and Netflix and Chill.
If you’re halfway attractive or interesting people will co-sign anything you say. So you’re mad and put out there, “I don’t understand why my man can’t accept that some days I don’t feel like cooking.” You get random guys commenting, “I’d cook for you every night.” “Your man is selfish.” These guys aren’t doing anything but being cheerleaders in hopes that they’re first in line if your relationship doesn’t work. Women are even worse because they’re 10 times more passive aggressive with their flirting, “I work all week and I can’t even get a night to myself, my girl is tripping.” What I didn’t mention is that maybe there were issues in the past where I didn’t earn her trust. Maybe the men I’m hanging out with don’t respect my relationship and she’s worried they’ll put me in a compromising position. Stay offline and take a nap. Wake up and talk to your him or her, you’d be surprised at how something you thought was minor hurt them more than you knew.