Stop Waiting Until You’re the Best Version of Yourself Before You Let Someone Love You

thumbnail_img_2527 Yesterday I saw a lot of people that weren’t feeling Valentine’s Day. I’m not here to jump inside the minds of these people but I do know a lot of them didn’t seem very happy. Some were bitter, some were down right mean and a lot were genuinely sad. The ones that stuck out to me the most were the ones that want all of us to know they’re waiting on themselves. “What’s the matter with me building myself up and finding myself before I find love?”

I feel like being transparent today. The sort of honesty that’s uncomfortable but necessary at times. I think it’s bulls*it when I hear guys say, “I’m not trying to be in a relationship or date or take any women serious because I’m trying to get myself together first.” I think that’s bullsh*t because I was once that guy and the logic makes no sense. Think about it, women make us better, they always have. If you’re working and trying and you meet an amazing woman. Are you letting her go because you’re making salary instead of owning your own business? She’s probably the piece of the puzzle that’s going to get you your own business.

I can’t take any man seriously that’s afraid to love a woman. That’s afraid to be vulnerable, that’s afraid to take a chance on what could be the most amazing experience of your life. I see these guys that pretend they aren’t ready for anything serious because they simply want to be better prepared for their “future wife.” That would be noble if you weren’t sleeping with women, lying to women, leading women on. You can’t pretend to be this man of principle when you’re a whole man thot out here. It takes courage to stop looking for notches and options and to start investing in a dope ass woman.

Anything I write, I write from a place of experience. It’s not a good feeling knowing that there are women out there that really liked me and I was an ain’t sh*t dude to them. It’s not a good feeling having an amazing woman ride for me and people remind her of my past. These are things I have to live with and part of my journey is learning to forgive myself and being honest in my writing. It’s not okay to ignore love because you think you may find better or you want to go play. Grow up and when you have someone that makes your heart flutter and wants the best for you, take her hand and take that journey. Maybe it doesn’t work but you tried and you loved and you’ll crave that feeling again.

Yesterday was my two year anniversary and she’s pushed me in ways I didn’t know I could be pushed. That doesn’t mean there weren’t times where I thought I would lose my mind but that does mean there has never been a time where I questioned whether or not she had my back. I’m a better man not just because I’m older or wiser but because I’m in a relationship that matters.

Relationships matter.

6 thoughts on “Stop Waiting Until You’re the Best Version of Yourself Before You Let Someone Love You

  1. Thank you for writing such an honest, insightful post and sharing your perspective on this! It really made me think about the expectations we have for ourselves and our relationships. I think a lot of people subconsciously buy into the “happily ever after” myth that love and marriage come at the end of a personal journey, but in reality, we never stop growing and our relationships are just a part of our continuing journeys. Add to that the concept of “settling down” after marriage, and you can see why people run screaming from commitment! Thanks for your reality check that relationships don’t mean settling down, and can be a catalyst for growth instead!

  2. This resonated so much with me Demez. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard men speak on getting their affairs in order before entering a relationship. Each time, I’m baffled…remembering how it USED to be the norm to build something WITH someone. Why the change? When and why? Why would you not want to have a woman show you her commitment to you by allowing her to stick by your side from the start of your growth? Honestly, maybe that’s our problem. We’ve eliminated other people from the equation, so much so that we struggle to see the value in them. As you said, it takes courage to allow yourself to love. That’s what I respect in a man…not his commitment to his hustle/career.

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