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@artbysu via Twitter

What’s understood doesn’t have to be spoken in most instances but sometimes it’s good to offer reminders.

Women love tactfully aggressive and assertive men. It’s been that way since the beginning of time. The problem is too many men are trying to be assertive with women that have no interest in them. You’re mad she won’t return your good morning text when you should be texting good morning to a woman that actually wants you to text her.

When a woman likes you, I’m not even talking about love, but simply likes you. You can call her on Wednesday or Thursday and say, “I’m taking you out on Friday night, wear that black dress you wore to your bestfriends birthday dinner and I love your hair over your shoulder.” No woman that knows you’re a quality a guy is going to take that as controlling.

What I tend to see most is men feeling like women may not accept them taking the lead. You ask her out, tell her you’re going to surprise her and you take her to a Chinese spot when she’s allergic to MSG or an Italian spot and she can’t eat cheese. Unless she flat out told you and you forgot, it’s okay. That’s why you have backup plans, that’s why you can get a bottle of wine and go get a pizza and she won’t feel like she got dressed up for nothing because you’re understanding, good company and she’s wearing the black dress for you, not to be seen. Assertiveness does that for you. Not being sure about yourself, does nothing for you.

2017 has been the year of the engagement and it’s not even April yet. The one thing most of the men have in common is that they didn’t play it cool, they didn’t see her text and decide, “I’m going to look thirsty if I answer to quickly.” They didn’t text her five times asking, “WYD” hoping that she’d be the one to make the plans because he was afraid of rejection. You don’t need dating books to tell you one simple truth. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You like her, initiate a conversation, find out who she is, what she likes and plan something off that conversation that you think she may enjoy. I can’t tell a man how to be a good husband but I can tell you how not to shoot yourself in the foot.

This picture isn’t really relevant to the story but I believe there’s something magical about couples celebrating brining a life into this world.

2 thoughts on “If Your Woman Can’t Tell the Difference Between You Being Controlling or Assertive; You’re the Problem

  1. Love this post – it’s so true. I feel like people see this idea that “Women want me to be an asshole and to be aggressive and to take control.” But MAN, there are ingredients that some of them are missing and I think they are Tact and Caring. You aren’t soft if you care. You aren’t a wuss if you show tact and are sensitive. Being an asshole is or controlling people out of nowhere is not the way to go.
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Great post! You’ve expressed a lot of good points about a complicated topic. While I agree with most of what you’ve said, as a woman I have a perspective that’s slightly different from yours. I think it’s fair to say that the vast majority of women prefer men who are assertive, confident and not afraid to take the lead and make plans, but the way each woman defines “assertive” might be slightly different. Not every woman would appreciate being told what to wear, even if it’s said with the best of intentions. Still, I agree with your statement that being understanding is the key–being aware of what your date likes and doesn’t like, and respecting her boundaries, are essential during any part of a relationship.

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