The Good Ones Go If You Wait Too Long

Stop Waiting

Stop Waiting

1. Stop being prideful, you know what pride gets you? A bottle of gin and an empty house. If you miss her, tell her. Don’t text, don’t be passive aggressive on social media. Just call her or go see her and tell her.

2. Please don’t let social media and all these articles blow your head up. I don’t care how many single people there are in this world, if someone is sexy and smart and sweet. They’ll have suitors. No matter how much she’s into you, no matter how much of your shit she takes. There will come a day when her interest dies and there won’t be any turning back.

3. Don’t be the guy that’s afraid to get rejected. You wait and wait and wait not knowing if she’ll like “A guy like me.” Send that message, be honest, be likable. Don’t hide in the shadows hoping and wishing and when you finally get the courage she’s taken. You know how that’s going to feel when she responds, “I would have said yes two weeks ago but I’ve met someone.” Maybe she’s just being nice but maybe she’s telling the truth and your future wife will be drinking hot chocolate in her panties and tank top with someone else.

4. We all like to feel important. It doesn’t make you lame or thirsty for calling the same day you got her number. You aren’t pressed if you see her on Friday night and when you call and tell her you made it home; you ask her out on Saturday. If she’s important to you, if spending time with her feels better than spending time with anyone else in your life. Don’t act like it doesn’t. Letting her know you want to see more of her isn’t creepy, it’s being a man.

5. I once read an article about the art of going in for a goodnight kiss. You should look into her eyes and wait for the right moment and not be too aggressive. That’s loser talk! Look, when you go in for a kiss there can’t be any hesitation. If she doesn’t want that, you’ll know before you’re five feet within her space. Women will deal with assholes, broke guys, pretty boys but what they won’t deal with; is scary men. Don’t be the guy that turns her on with your conversation, cologne, mannerisms and then falls into the “Just a Friend Zone” because you never took the chance to take it to a more intimate level.

Wake Up Calls

Wake Up Calls

Wake Up Calls

A lot of people think relationships are like romantic comedies. You meet someone, you realize you’re falling in love, you live happily ever after. The longer I was single the more I started to see having a girlfriend and potentially a wife as this perfect situation. When I met her and realized I was falling in love, realized I didn’t want her giving another man the feeling she was giving me it was the easiest thing in the world to make that commitment. To tell her, “Baby, I don’t want anyone else, you’re my world now.” That was in the beginning. Over time though we’ve settled into a routine and life happened.

We still have amazing sex but now it’s twice a week instead of damn near every night. I still wake up before her and watch her sleep at times but I don’t slide my hand under the sheets as much. We talk, we text, we laugh but the passion. The passion that came into our lives like a tidal wave just didn’t drown us like it did before.

Sitting in a meeting, trying to focus on work, all I could think about was how did we get here? I could live with arguing or fighting but this was different. We were becoming boring, comfortable. I wish I could say it was all her, she didn’t send the same pictures she used to send. “I’m not going to have a hacker having my ass on the internet. You see it every night so why do you need pictures?” She loves me, she still cooks and worries, there isn’t a selfish bone in her body but it’s just different. I still bring home flowers but now it just feels like a chore. Trying to remember the last time I picked her up in the middle of the day for lunch, I couldn’t. I used to do that for her once a week.

Seeing her name pop up on my phone with a video attached I put it back in my pocket. It was probably a video of a cat with a baseball cap on or a wedding dance that she thought was perfectly cute. Finishing the meeting, a little small talk, my phone vibrated again. “So I guess you didn’t like my video. I better send it to someone that does.” Wanting more than anything to avoid a fight I clicked on the video and my eyes immediately shot to the door because in a matter of seconds I couldn’t control what was happening in my pants. He woke up and anyone that would have walked into my office would have went to human resources with the quickness.

Where the bed was in our guest room was now replaced with a pole. A chair was sitting in the corner and music was playing in the background. “I know we’ve been in a funk lately, I don’t want us to be that couple. I’m saving a seat for you but until you get here I’ve learned a trick or two. So sit back and enjoy.” Sitting on the edge of my desk, watching my wife move her body to the music like she could perform at any club in Houston my mouth literary watered. A ripped up tank top and panties, she spun and bounced and dropped and when she sat in the chair and licked her finger and said, “I guess I have to get started without you.” What came next made me stop the video and tell my boss I had to go home right now!

Walking in the door, candles lit everywhere, the curtains closed. Music playing throughout the house; I walked to the guest room having to stop myself from running. Opening the door, seeing the pole, seeing the chair, handcuffs lying on the floor who was this woman because she wasn’t the wife I knew? Walking into the kitchen, seeing her on her tippy toes in that same tank top, in those same panties. Moving her body to the music while she cooked I just watched. She knew I was watching, the closer I got to her the harder she bounced it, shook it. Turning around and looking me in my eyes, “You must have watched the video. This isn’t free just because you’re my husband. Get on your knees and tell her you’re sorry for not waking her up in the morning like she’s used to. Tell her you’re sorry for not taking her to lunch once a week and after you tell her you’re sorry, give her a kiss.”

That half a day turned into us calling in the next day and rediscovering what we loved about each other’s bodies. Letting the nastiness settle in and the comfort level take us to places we’ve never went to. You don’t start looking for someone else when things go left; you fix what’s worth fixing. What’s worth fighting for.

Women That Inspire Greatness

Saturday Nights

Saturday Nights

I used to write about sex often but I’ve slowed that over the past couple of years. No specific reason, I just wanted to become a better writer, become a more diverse writer. That doesn’t mean that sex doesn’t cross my mind, that nights like this I don’t lie on the couch and wish there were a warm pair of thighs straddling me. I’ve just learned to appreciate quality over quantity. To wait for my time and not rush.

Saying all that; these are the nasty things I miss about having a girlfriend. Some of these will be a tad bit explicit so if that’s not your thing I suggest you stop reading now. I’ve often written this but I haven’t had to say it in awhile. I’m a man that writes for adults with adult experiences and adult emotions. Being nasty, having erotic and carnal thoughts are innate in us.

When she’s giving you a blow job and she swallows and lets it sit on her tongue for a second right before she does like, “I told you I love the way you taste.”

When you’re somewhere really quiet or serious and you’re about to fall asleep or your mind is on business or something and she whispers in your ear, “I’m stressed, I need to ride your face tonight.”

When she’s fresh out the shower and her robe or t-shirt is sticking to her body, you know she’s not wearing anything underneath. She has that look like she’s tired so you know there’s no sex tonight. But then you can feel her breath on your neck, her hands roaming and that first kiss. That first kiss is so damn powerful. She looks you in the eyes and tells you, “You can put it wherever you want baby.”

There’s the moments when she’s cooking and you just stand in the doorway, not saying anything, not trying to scare her. Just watching, appreciating her ass, her neck, her legs. Thinking to yourself, “How did I get this lucky?” Walking up behind her, your hand up her shirt, your lips on the back of her neck. She’s still stirring, still mixing, smiling, laughing, “You’re going to make me burn the food, stop, you know what that does to me.” Everything in you wants to put her on the counter but it smells so good so you get one last kiss and walk away. Knowing after dinner she’s going to be insatiable.

You have attraction, that physical, raw attraction. You can’t control that, you can’t not want to touch her, not want to lick her or bite her. Even if it’s not good for you or you know it’s going to have repercussions. We’ve all experienced that. Then you have that attraction that transcends the physical. You see her body, you see her curves, you can’t keep your hands off her thighs while you’re driving. She can’t stop playing with your ear while you’re trying to watch the game. It’s almost not even sexual but just purposeful. Like there’s something that’s addictive about just having your hands on them. You know what that is? It’s intimacy, it’s touching her without having to touch her. It’s reading her mind and not knowing the details but knowing whether she’s happy, sad, wet, angry, hurting or just feeling playful. It’s those moments when you know that she’s the one. Not when you’re inside of her or when you call and she doesn’t pick up. It’s the moments where intimacy rises above our beings.

One Night Can Give Us A Thousand Memories



Sometimes I think I’m damaged, crazy maybe or just a coward. Are those words harsh? Yes they are but they’re the truth. What’s a coward? A coward is a man that awakens a woman’s love with no intentions of returning that love. A coward is a man that would rather have a thousand options than accept that one option that can change his life. I’d hit any man that called me a coward. Without hesitation. So should I slap myself?

I’m a good man. I work every day, I look after my family, I’m always here for there no matter what. I live next door to my grandmother because the thought of her being home alone scares me to death. I’m not sure I’m the most attractive guy but I don’t think I’m Sam Cassell. I have traits and qualities that will make me an amazing husband but I have flaws that I’m not sure I’m ready to put in a woman’s life. A can be moody, insecure, mean. I go into these moments where I don’t want to be bothered. You can’t be like that when you’re in a relationship. I can’t expect her to deal with that.

Or am I wrong? Isn’t part of being with someone making them better? Isn’t part of falling in love and giving your all allowing someone to be there for you when your shortcomings make you feel like you aren’t enough? This idea that we have to be a finished product to find love and happiness is something that I struggle with. I struggle with not having everything together. I struggle with being a man that can’t take care of everything. That’s doesn’t make sense though, we should be building the kingdom together. We should be able to talk about what I need to work on and I should open up and be honest with her in a way I’m not honest with anyone else. I haven’t done that before and it scares me. Does that make me weak? Foolish? Or does it make me a man.

I can be foolish but I have grown and I’ll continue to grow.

Demez F. White

Sex Is Always important: the Person You’re Having It With Just Might Not Be

feeling I wrote an article a while back entitled “There’s No Such Thing As Meaningless Sex,” and my logic was every time we give ourselves to someone we give a piece of ourselves to them. Whether it’s mentally, spiritually, emotionally or just physically. I thought it was a pretty straight forward piece but people actually disagreed with me in the comments. I’m not a man that believes in “I’m right, leave me alone.” If you have a differing opinion, I’d like to hear it and understand it.

For the most part it was a lot of people that were trying to belittle the spiritual aspect. I’m not going to argue with those people but there were also people that simply believe they can have sex with no emotional attachment. I can’t relate to that but who was I to tell them otherwise? Not to mention I can understand it.

Then there was one woman that sort of summed everything up in one breath, in one sentence. “Sex is always important, the person you’re having it with just might not be.” In that moment I realized that my logic wasn’t wrong but I hadn’t accounted for one very important, very particular thing. Good sex and good people are in one category and bad sex and people that don’t move you or in another. I still believe that sex on any level should be intimate but I can’t attach my beliefs to society as a whole. There are some women you look forward to holding after it’s over and some who you hand a paper towel and look to make sure she didn’t leave her panties. Some men get breakfast and looks of admiration; some men get looks of, “why did I waste you on my body count?”

In a perfect world which is where some of my writing takes place all of us are created equal. Not literally but just individually. That’s not right and I know it isn’t right but I’m still trying to figure out how to incorporate core values with what’s happening in the real world. I’m working on that as a writer. I never want my words to come off as judgmental but I also don’t want to write what people want to hear. Sex is addictive and a part of addictions that’s scary is sometimes you get addicted to the wrong person and wrong situation.

~ Demez F. White

Stress Relievers

20140627-230359.jpg Leaving the meeting he knew it was his fault. Everyone in the room knew it was his fault though none of them were willing to say it. It was his 3rd big screwup in as many months and it wasn’t like him at all.

Loosening his tie, closing his office door all he could think was, “Why is this happening?” The mistake had been made and sitting in an empty office on a Friday wasn’t going to fix it.

Scrolling though his phone only one number stood out, “I can’t focus, I’m fucking up. You want to get a drink?” The text read.

“I want you to come fuck me,” she responded.

Between work and work he hadn’t seen her in a month, as soon as he read to text he could feel himself getting hard. Adjusting his dick, looking at the stack of contracts on his desk; he just walked out the office.

“This shit can wait until Monday.” He said to no one in particular.

Normally there would be some playful back and forth. He’d ask her if he needed to bring anything, if she was hungry. Not today though. “I want you to come fuck me.” Seeing those words over and over on his screen did something to him. Running red lights he justified as yellow, rolling through stop signs, weaving through cars in traffic he needed to relieve the stress that had him drinking and not sleeping.

Every 5 minutes or so he would get a picture. The first was just a bra and panties on the bed, “Should I put them on or nah?” The second was her in a short robe, clear she’d just gotten out the shower by the way it was sticking to her. It was open but just enough. Her hands on where her panties should have been. “If you don’t hurry and get here I’m starting without you!” The 3rd picture almost made him hit two cars. Her robe was on one side of the bed, her lingerie was on the other. A vibrator lying beside her. On all fours, completely naked, her legs spread. “Thank God for timers on camera phones. I swear I’ve never been this wet.” He put the phone face down and images flashed before his eyes like lightening.

10 minutes later he was pulling into her driveway. Ready to bang on the door he thought about it and it was unlocked. Walking inside, music playing, candles burning. Her in the kitchen in the same robe, in the same heels. Not saying a word, just kissing her hard, sucking on her bottom lip, cupping her breast. Her trying her best to unbuckle his pants with his hands making the come here motion inside of her.

Biting her shoulder, licking her neck, the robe hanging from the ceiling fan, her bent over! That first moment he slides in, the tightness and wetness gripping him. One hand on the back of her neck, the other hand alternating between slapping her ass and the finger in her ass.

No taking it slow, no warming up or finding a rhythm. Just him trying to relieve the stress and her all so willing to be that stress reliever.

Demez F. White

Lust At First Sight

20140603-055513.jpgI don’t know if I’ve ever believed in love at first sight. I suppose part of me wants to but love is a verb, an action word so to love someone without knowing them just doesn’t make much sense to me. I do however believe in lust at first sight. The feeling you get when you see a woman for the first time and you imagine everything from kissing her to holding her hand to more graphic acts.

Personally speaking I have always thought that lust gets a bad rap. People talk about it in a sinful way but the thing is lust controlled is perfectly healthy. It’s natural to become aroused when you see someone that’s physically or mentally appealing to you.

I have some more thoughts but it’s almost the weekend; the people that are at work aren’t working hard so I’m going to write a quickie note.

Mid Day Sin…

Sitting on the top floor of the parking garage, no other cars around her she couldn’t stop smiling. Most of the building either on vacation or called in sick she let the sun warm her. Her blue tooth was in her ear so that both her hands would be free when the call came. They hadn’t talked in two weeks and she missed the hell out of him. If she was being honest with herself she couldn’t even remember what they were fighting about and just when she was about to break the text came in at 2am.

‘I mss you.’ She read those three little words and responded back.

‘I miss you too!’ Just like that they spent the entire night texting. ‘I’ll call you tomorrow at lunch baby; wear that black pencil skirt with the red heels, no panties.’

She was wearing exactly what he’d asked, beyond wet at the thought of hearing his voice after so long.

‘Hello.’ The phone didn’t finish one ring before she answered.

‘Hey baby! I’m still pissed at you for waiting two weeks to text me! But I’m sooo horny and you have been neglecting your friend!’ On the 17th floor she was all class, all professional tact but right here, right now. She could talk nasty and be the woman she knew he loved.

‘Lift your skirt up and place the phone to my friend so I can apologize.’ She kept the blue tooth in her hear, raised her skirt and placed her middle finger on the magic button.

‘She’s listening.’

‘I just want you to know that what me and Jewels have going on has nothing to do with me missing you, kissing you, licking you, putting my dick inside of you. I’m going to make it up to you in about thirty seconds.’ She jumped when she heard the tap on the window.

‘I told you I missed you both!’

Just like that they were starting their weekend off right.