10 Things I Wish My Generation Understood

a trini10- It’s okay to have secrets. Everything isn’t meant for social networks or even friends and family. What happens between a man and a woman should stay between a man and a woman. If you’re creeping, cheating, keep that between the two of you; whether it’s right or wrong is between you and God but if you’re going to do wrong do it right.

9- Your reputation matters. This is something our grandparents and even parents understood. It’s not cool being an asshole, it’s not funny making fun of people. Cursing, using the word nigga, bragging about a woman paying for a date or how many women you have. It shows a lack of character.

8- Women should act like women. No matter what society says we respect ladies. In 1776 if a guy slept with a lot of women but was good at his job no one cares, it’s the same way in 2013. In 1776 if a woman slept with a lot of men she was a whore no matter how good she was at her job. It’s the same way in 2013. Women and men are not the same, have tact.

7- Modesty is a valued commodity. We live in a world where the middle class is dying, where people are living pay check to pay check. Bragging online will get you robbed, it will have people jealous and envious and more than that it’s just tacky. You don’t have to talk about how much better your life is then everyone else’s, if it is people will just see it.

6- Just because Twitter and Instagram say you have followers, doesn’t mean you have followers. Huey P. Newton had followers, Bobby Kennedy had followers, President Obama and Ted Cruz have followers. 90% of the people that “follow” us on social networks just like looking at pictures or socializing. What makes you relevant isn’t a status, post or picture. What makes you relevant is “Are you touching or impacting lives with your actions or words?”

5- Women aren’t as tough as they pretend to be. Most women are doing it on their own because they don’t have any other options. She may know how to change a tire or mow the yard or wash her car; she’s trying her best to teach her son how to ride a bike or shoot a basketball but that’s because that man isn’t there. It’s more than that though, we have to watch how we talk to women around children. They’re listening, they’re emulating, they will do what they see us do. No matter how hard she pretends to be it’s hurting her.

4- The best way to deal with a situation is being upfront and honest. Leading people on, ignoring situations, ignoring problems. It just leads to confusion, resentment and lies. If you have a service I want and I can’t afford it, I’m just going to tell you I can’t afford it and I will give you a call when I can. I don’t want a discount but I also don’t want to hold you up. If I’m not interested in you romantically I’m going to tell you I don’t think we’re compatible. It won’t be easy but clarity combined with respectable honesty breeds respect.

3- Failure is underrated. Our ancestors took big risk and they lost big but they also won big. That’s how life works, if we only do what we think we’re good at we’ll never reach our potential. We can’t be a generation that makes all these jumps and leaps from a technological standpoint but is afraid to move out of our mothers home.

2- Reading and Writing make us better.

1- Small talk can be the start of some of the best memories of our lives. I make it a habit when I’m out now not to take out my phone unless it rings. If I see someone sitting at the bar alone I’m going to make conversation. We get so caught up in technology that we forget how cool life was when conversations mattered