Stop With the Small Talk and Plan A Date; It May Change Your Life

It’s easy to be the man that steps up when he’s supposed to step up. When it’s her birthday, you’re on point. When it’s your anniversary, there’s not a better date planner in the world. She’s excited about a promotion; you’ll have the champagne and flowers ready as soon as she walks through the door. That’s only like 10% of a relationship though, 10% of the dating process. What about the other days, the other nights?

Calling a woman or texting a woman and asking her, “WYD” or “It’s supposed to rain tonight so what do you want to eat?” You might see it as sensible or something that just makes sense after a long day but sometimes you have to not only take control but also crave control. If you’re a man reading this I want you to ask yourself one question, “When is the last time I called a woman and told her, ‘I’m picking you up at 8, wear that black dress I saw you in when you went to your best friend’s party back in May.” Don’t be afraid of her saying she has plans, don’t be afraid of “I’m tired.” Be afraid of being ordinary.

I don’t care if your woman is in charge of the largest department in her company. I don’t care if she makes twice what you make and had to let your little brother “borrow” some money for a textbook. That doesn’t take away from that fact that just because she has to be superwoman out there doesn’t mean she wants to be that at home or in her relationship. So many men complain about dating when the truth is all you’re doing is setting a standard that lets her know she can stop entertaining those other guys. One way to do that is by simply being tastefully aggressive.

What’s tasteful aggression? It’s being the man that knows what he wants and is an adult about expressing it and actively pursuing her. Not just asking a woman out on a date or out for drinks but telling her where, what time and what you like to see her in. Not the cheesy lingerie or panty talk but actual clothes. Colors, styles, how you like her hair. If you’re a genuine guy she won’t take it as you trying to control her or tell her how to dress. She’ll take it as you being a man that pays attention.

In 2017 everyone takes pride in being laid back, in being cool. You want to know what I take pride in? Being serious about the people that matter to me and while I’m being serious I’ll take time to laugh, smile, flirt but she won’t have hesitations about my intentions.

Till Death Do Us Part


Looking at his reflection in the elevator, the way his eyes were burning a hole through my ass. I just closed my eyes and fought the desire to cry, to scream, to hit every button and get off at the next floor and run! My body was a resource, a tool, I wasn’t the first woman to use it to get what I wanted. What I needed.

I wouldn’t be the last.

Everything was happening in slow motion, the key card sliding into the door, the lock slipping. As soon as I heard the door slam I felt his lips on the back of my neck and his hands sliding under my skirt. The room was dark, my face and hands were on the wall, only one tear fell. I wouldn’t let anymore fall. His hand was on the back of my neck, he spread my legs with his thighs and bent me over like I was being frisked. I could hear my panties being ripped and his zipper coming down.

I could hear the ripping of the condom wrapper, his grip tightened around my neck. I was too dry when he pushed himself inside of me but either he didn’t feel it or didn’t care because he wasn’t taking his time. The harder he stroked, the harder he squeezed my neck, he pushed me down further so that my back would arch more.

His breathing, his grunts, my hand hitting the wall trying to brace myself was all I could hear and then it was over.

He stepped back and I stayed with my face against the wall, pulling my skirt down and leaving my ripped panties on the floor. I wanted to turn around but I couldn’t face him.

“I’ll keep the account with your company. If you want to branch out on your own I’ll back you.” He opened the door, the light from the hallway came blasting in. I didn’t even want to go to the bathroom and clean up. I picked my purse up off the floor and held my head up, forcing myself to look him in the eyes.

“Thank you.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. All I recognized was the throbbing between my legs and pulsating pain through my wrist.

I stepped into the hallway, he rubbed the back of my arm and I turned around. “I’ll expect this arrangement to continue once a month and next time I want you to look me in my eyes when I’m inside you.” He let the door close and I knew things would never be the same.

But did success come without sacrifice?

The Good Ones Go If You Wait Too Long

Stop Waiting

Stop Waiting

1. Stop being prideful, you know what pride gets you? A bottle of gin and an empty house. If you miss her, tell her. Don’t text, don’t be passive aggressive on social media. Just call her or go see her and tell her.

2. Please don’t let social media and all these articles blow your head up. I don’t care how many single people there are in this world, if someone is sexy and smart and sweet. They’ll have suitors. No matter how much she’s into you, no matter how much of your shit she takes. There will come a day when her interest dies and there won’t be any turning back.

3. Don’t be the guy that’s afraid to get rejected. You wait and wait and wait not knowing if she’ll like “A guy like me.” Send that message, be honest, be likable. Don’t hide in the shadows hoping and wishing and when you finally get the courage she’s taken. You know how that’s going to feel when she responds, “I would have said yes two weeks ago but I’ve met someone.” Maybe she’s just being nice but maybe she’s telling the truth and your future wife will be drinking hot chocolate in her panties and tank top with someone else.

4. We all like to feel important. It doesn’t make you lame or thirsty for calling the same day you got her number. You aren’t pressed if you see her on Friday night and when you call and tell her you made it home; you ask her out on Saturday. If she’s important to you, if spending time with her feels better than spending time with anyone else in your life. Don’t act like it doesn’t. Letting her know you want to see more of her isn’t creepy, it’s being a man.

5. I once read an article about the art of going in for a goodnight kiss. You should look into her eyes and wait for the right moment and not be too aggressive. That’s loser talk! Look, when you go in for a kiss there can’t be any hesitation. If she doesn’t want that, you’ll know before you’re five feet within her space. Women will deal with assholes, broke guys, pretty boys but what they won’t deal with; is scary men. Don’t be the guy that turns her on with your conversation, cologne, mannerisms and then falls into the “Just a Friend Zone” because you never took the chance to take it to a more intimate level.

Seduction 101: Start to Sex

Seduction 101: Start to Sex

1. It starts with the mind. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. It helps to be tall, dark and handsome but once a woman reaches a certain maturity it’ll take more than dimples and cologne.

2. Once you get past the introductions and small talk honesty and compliments come next. Acting isn’t what’s up. Don’t be something you’re not. Women like shy. Women like thugs. Women like aggressive or smart. All of those things are true; none of them are true. Women like consistencies and honesties. Show her she can trust you and she’s open. Tell her she’s beautiful and mean it!

3. Aggression matters! Don’t be a pussy! It’s better to go in for a kiss and she moves away then to talk too much and miss the moment. Dudes get friendzoned everyday because they waited and she lost interest. Push her up against the door and just do it. Pull her to your side of the car and kiss, suck, bite her neck. Not enough to leave marks but enough to make a point!

4. Seduction starts from the top down! Hands should start on her face, then her neck, her back and stomach. Breast next and if she’s not stopping you then her thighs. She can’t fake wet. If she doesn’t want your fingers in the Holy Grail she’ll stop you. There won’t be any mixed signals. If she grabs your hand or closes her legs, just stop! Don’t ask why, don’t push it. Just keep kissing, keep touching the places she said were okay. It’s okay to be patient, to make her comfortable. We’re adults.

5. Talk about sex like an adult. I’m not talking asking her if she’s wearing panties or telling her you want to kiss her special place. I mean talk to her about how long it’s been, about what she likes doing. Ask her when her first time was, when her most memorable time was. Laugh with her, be quiet when she gets serious and just listen. Learn her body before you ever touch her. Sex is as much mental as it is physical. Some women get off on giving, some are selfish, others are saving themselves. Ask questions.

6. Confidence. Don’t ask to do something, just do it! I’m not talking taking it, I’m talking being decisive in your actions. Freaky is okay, nasty is okay as long as its not weird. The same way a man shouldn’t ask a woman where she wants to go for dinner when she gets in the car is the same way a man shouldn’t ask if he can go down on her. Push her back and just do it. Do it like its your honeymoon and its all you’ve thought about! Do it like not doing it will destroy you!

7. Bring condoms. Bring condoms! It’ll fuck you up when she’s soaking and you’re inches away but be responsible. I’ve not used them and spent the next couple weeks freaking out! Women love responsibility. She’ll say I’m on the pill or its okay but after its over she will respect responsible.

8. Don’t cum on her unless she tells you to. Life is not a porn. If you’re not sure just ask her. You’d be surprised.

9. Don’t rush to get cleaned up when it’s over. Lie in the wet spot, let your breathing cool down, hug her, kiss her, slap her ass and rub her ass. Tell her how great it was; how perfect she was. If she gets comfortable, you go get the warm towel to wipe her down.

10. Don’t say shit you don’t mean! I want you to have my baby. I love you. I want you to be my wife. It’s just sex talk to you. It’s a verbal contract to her.


Desire Is Where the Heart Lies

Written By: Sapphire and Demez

Her Words

Searing heat coursing through my veins, the thirst is real and the hunger never sleeps and its been 4 hrs 33 mins and 21..20…19 seconds since my last fix, this writing shit ain’t no joke. It’s invades my sleep, torments my mind, makes love to my soul in a way no one ever could and yet I’m sitting in this corner trying to resuscitate the contents of my talent as it lies dwindling in the balance…

The one I thought would never leave, the love that I knew would stand by me no matter what. The one that I told my secrets to now lay depleted…my heart… my everything… my writing.

His Words

Desire, I often wonder what life would be like if I didn’t have so much desire. If I didn’t want what I don’t have so much. There are moments when I can taste it, when I can taste her, when I close my eyes and I could swear on a Bible she’s siting on my lap. Then I open them and there’s just me, there’s just this iPhone full of numbers I don’t really call and memories.

Her Words

My desire is to pour the contents of my soul unto my cold, sterile pad and induce its labor; watch it give birth to my visions, hopes and dreams….to HIM. Seeing my own words verbalize my longings and watching them come to fruition makes “HIM” that much more tangible; a description or a thought away. I’m not a verbal person when it comes to my heart but I need, I love, I want and those things seems to manifest only when I’m honest with my paper and pen; that’s why it’s so dire that I not lose this connection…my connection to him, to happiness, to being so close yet so far away.

His Words

Desire, my desire doesn’t only live in the memories of the loves past. My desire also lives in the present, in every smile of every pretty face that friendzones me. My desire lives in every tight pair of jeans and short skirt that teases me. Thighs that sit on the edge of barstools like mini reminders that my desires will not be met tonight.

You want to know a secret, I tell the world it’s self control, I tell readers that waiting for love and marriage is the only way to be happy sexually, is the only way to curve your desire. That’s bullshit! Desire will eat you alive from the inside out, lying in bed, tipsy enough to be tired but not drunk enough to sleep desire will molest your mind.

Her Words

I write from the desire to be one step closer to that feeling of all consuming, overwhelming, impossible, can’t live without it moments that I’ve only seen. Those that I’m too afraid to write about for fear that I may not be ready for what that could possibly feel like. Those nights when I lie in bed with my pad right beside me, only a word away from him, from “hi” ;a sentence away from a feeling that I’m too nervous to write but I desire it all the same.

His Words

Mistaking desire for love isn’t what my heart wants but how is my heart supposed to know the difference? Are they the same thing?

I am not a poet, I can’t put pretty words together and make them rhyme or come up with cute catch phrases. All I can do is bare my soul in my writing and hope it relates. It’s the same way I am with women, I know I’ll never be Reggie Bush or Eldris Elba but I get the most out of this humor and mind of mines and hope that desire arises from that.

Her Words

I write a place in my heart where I’m not afraid of vulnerablilty, of knowing that I was ready at some point and at some moment to be that that I didn’t know I desired or even wanted and knowing that I desire it still. Its still as real to me as my next heartbeat and therefore I can’t stop writing, can’t stop believing that at some moment the courage will come for me to say that I’m ready.

His Words

There’s no greater feeling than knowing that someone loves you just as much as you love them. That they desire every single aspect of what you’re offering just as much as you desire giving it to them. Desire is not a game, when you’re dealing with forevers the stakes are high!

Her Words

I write in hopes that every word is like water to my dehydrated situation restoring the respect an desire to nuture the talent that I took for granted…that every syllable brings me closer to a destiny that is not so far beyond my reach. I write so that my desire to love is no longer a figment of my imagination but a reality that I embrace whole-heartedly.

I write so that I can understand the true meaning of desire, of what it takes to want something so badly that its the only reality I know.I write because my desire won’t allow me to do anything else.