Goodbye 24

On a foggy Sunday morning in the hills of one of the most beautiful suburbs in LA three families
were taking their daughters to play in a basketball game. Along for the ride were an assistant
basketball coach and the pilot. For reasons we don’t yet know the plane crashed and everyone on
board died. An entire community devastated for what was supposed to be just another afternoon
ride like they have done time and time before.

kobe love

But this ride would be different.

This ride would be etched in the minds of millions and leave the world in shock and sorrow.
Kobe and Giana Bryant (An NBA legend and humanitarian, his daughter)
John, Keri and Alyssa Altobelli (A legendary junior college baseball coach with ties to the
University of Houston, his wife, and daughter)
Christina Mauser (A woman’s basketball coach)
Ara Zobayan (The pilot)
Sarah and Payton Chester (A mother and daughter)

Parents, daughters, coaches, and a pilot were all gone in a split second. Parents, children, and
loved ones waiting at the sports complex for the helicopter carrying those nine individuals to
arrive got news they never will forget. “We regret to inform you that your loved ones have
perished in a helicopter crash.” Denial sets in first. Then unbelievable pain as reality comes into
focus. Shock takes over as one replays the last moments in their head to make sure this was not a
dream.  Finally, acceptance creeps in as tears begin to fall and questions that will never have
answers begin to form.

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“Why them?”
”Why now?”
“Why so soon?”
“Why, why, and why?”

The “whys” come from the families, the friends, the colleagues, and the world. School officials
try explain to young minds not yet developed enough to understand the meaning of death.
Friends and colleagues try to comprehend what happened while families are just numb to it all.
Families from the same community are broken.
Sunday, January 26, 2020

The day was just an ordinary Sunday for me. I took pleasure in watching my son play on the
floor with his toys. I watched my wife prepare for an interview later that evening. The dogs were
running around, the sun was shining, and I was getting things lit on the grill as I prepared meat to
go on the pit. Playing in the background was a college basketball game when was Sunday was
interrupted. Big as day across my cell screen on TMZ’s twitter feed were the words, “Kobe
Bryant dies in a helicopter crash.”

But that can’t be, right? That can’t be real? He’s Kobe, the KOBE, Kobe doesn’t die, he goes on
to build movie studios or buy professional basketball teams. He watches his daughter take
women’s basketball to another level. I rubbed my eyes to refocus them and I take another look at
my phone.

“Kobe Bryant and Rick Fox die in a helicopter crash?” I say to myself.
Rick Fox?  Rick Fox and Kobe together? Wait! I look to see my wife, who is always up on
entertainment news, looking puzzled at the distraught look on my face, “What’s going on she
asks?” I show her my phone, she puts her hand over her mouth, grabs her own phone, and we
both shared the same flustered look.

“Oh my GOD, they’re saying all his daughters were on the plane!” We scroll social media feeds
looking for information, we turn on the news for confirmation. All the news is scattered with
differentiating details except one.
Kobe Bryant is dead at 41.

Is this real?

At some point, the realization sets in that Kobe Bryant, superstar player for the Los Angeles
Lakers, is, in fact, dead.

Rick Fox tweets he isn’t dead. More details emerge. It’s not Kobe’s entire family, which one can
be grateful for, but that is nothing to celebrate but rather something to which to be grateful.
However, one of Bryant princesses is gone, the one that loved basketball, Giana.

A girl and her dad

Giana, the middle child with the Mamba mentality, was the one to carry on the baller legacy. She
reintroduced her dad to basketball and gave him a new reason to love the game.  She was the one
he traveled with, trained, coached, and the one who was most like him. He wore #24 and as a
chip off the old block she dropped the #4 to just wear #2. She wanted to be just like him and he
wanted her to be better than him. We will never know her true potential. We will never see her
wear that #2 Husky jersey (Uconn was her favorite college team). We will never know her other
talents for young Giana would die alongside her father on the way to do something she loved and
what they shared.

Play in a basketball game.

The husband, The father, The man

The journalist in me knows I should tell you about all his basketball accomplishments. I should
talk about my favorite moment on the court when I knew he was my favorite player. I should
recall the championships, the awards, and other accolades but that was just a portion of the man
that a giant for more than basketball. The points, awards, and accomplishments seemed bigger
than life only to seem insignificant now.

I watched an interview he gave to high school kids when he was maybe twenty-one years old. He
told them how he defined success – working hard, finding a woman that you love, and having a
family that loves you back. One of the kids laughed and told him that made him soft.  Kobe
laughed back and told him, “I’d still whip your ass on the court.”
Those weren’t just words he said. That was his mantra. He married the love of his life, Vanessa,
and though some of their struggles were public knowledge they stayed the course and created
four beautiful daughters. His life with Vanessa and his daughters was everything to him. In fact,
it was one of the reasons he traveled by helicopter. He wanted to train like a beast but still
wanted to take and pick his daughters up from school. For ten years or more he’s been on
helicopters flying around LA like the Superman he was.

Kobe represents greatness to me. He was willing to walk away from everything after winning
three straight titles because he knew his legacy wasn’t complete unless he did it without Shaq.
He lost games and won games but didn’t stop until he was a champion again.
As men, we aren’t supposed to be emotional, especially not about a basketball player that we
only know from watching him on television. However, finding out Kobe died hurt me in a way
that has only hurt when I lost someone I loved.

I won’t apologize for being a fan, for appreciating greatness, for celebrating his Oscar win like it
was for all of us. Read the Instagram captions, read the articles, listen to the stories – He was an
amazing man. A man that lived his life without fear of failure, a man that was kind and courteous
to everyone he came across.

He wasn’t on a helicopter with an entourage or a security team. He wasn’t on his way to Vegas
or the Grammy’s. He was on a helicopter with coaches and parents who had a vast love for their
children on a Sunday morning going to support their kids at an AAU basketball game. Listen to
him talk about his daughter, listen to him talk about his players, listen to the way he spoke about
his daughter and listen to the love in all the answers.

 

His love for his children was great. In my heart, I believe his love for Vanessa was even greater
because she gave him that those girls he adored. I can’t begin to imagine how she feels now. You
lose a husband; a daughter and you have three other daughters at home that you have to explain
why daddy and their sister are not coming home. They don’t understand what’s going on or the
concept of death. You must be their rock of understanding, support, and love.  The world is
expecting you to be Jackie Kennedy, the gracious grieving window when all you want to do is
close your eyes, shut them out and hope what you are going through is just a very bad nightmare.

Vanessa doesn’t owe us anything. Instead, we owe her. We owe her thanks for all those nights
Kobe shared with us while missing out on quality family time. We owe a debt of gratitude for all
those times Kobe inspired our children instead of spending time with his own.
I’m thirty-six years old. Kobe was forty-one. This isn’t a case of me idolizing a man; this is the
case of me being proud of one. Kobe Bryant was one-of-a-kind.

A boy that had to learn how to be a man on camera;
A husband that had to learn how to love his wife in front of the world;
A once in a lifetime father that sometimes had to put his career before family;
A basketball great that made us believe we could do whatever it was we wanted to do in this
world.

At the tragic end of Kobe’s life, he was just beginning to start the next chapter of his life with his
philanthropic efforts. He was showing us that he was more than just basketball. He was revealing
his true character and grit proving that Kobe Bryant was bigger than basketball itself.
Long live the legend of Kobe Bryant.
Rest in peace Kobe, Giana, John, Keri, Alyssa, Christina, Sarah, Payton,

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Five Reasons Why Some Women Are Just Irreplaceable…

imagesCAWYOAZS Reason One- I once read an article that said it takes twice the time you were with someone to get over them. So if she was mine for a year it will take me two to get over her, if I was with her for ten, it would take me twenty to get over her.

When a woman is around you for a period of time and everything she does is simply perfect or she can do no wrong; she’s become irreplaceable simply because she was there for you in the times when you felt like the world was against you.

Reason Two- Every woman feels different, the texture of her skin, the smell of her hair. The size of her nipples or the way she moans when you touch her. Some moans are just perfect, some lips are just wetter. Some kisses are just sweeter.

How can you replace perfect lips?

Reason Three- If she loves what you loves, genuinely loves it, then you just know it’s meant to be. When the day comes that some bullshit that has nothing to do with the two of you breaks you up that doesn’t change the fact that she still put an imprint on your life.

Regardless you’ll still see her face in every woman you’re with. And how can you move on when that’s the case?

Reason Four- Who do you want when you’ve had the worst day ever? Who do you need to talk to, need to hold you and tell you it’s going to be okay? That person doesn’t grow on trees. And if she’s that person; until you find someone to do what she did you’ll forever be on some other shit.

Reason Five- Not every woman is created equal.

Dancing For Him

20140104-164344.jpgHe wasn’t himself. He wasn’t flirting with me, his laugh wasn’t the same. The house was freezing even though it was breezy outside. Usually all his windows would be open.

“Let’s get out tonight. My treat babe! We can go to Kams, have some wineeee.” I sat on the ottoman in front of him and took the glass out of his hand.

“Did you mix this with anything?!” It was so strong I got up to get myself a glass of juice. The kitchen was spotless, the bedroom was spotless. The floors shiny.

When he was stressed he cleaned. He got that from his grandmother.

I walked into his bedroom and opened his closet. Picking a shirt and tie I stepped out of my dress and bra and laid them across the bed. I hated seeing him like this and nothing I was saying was getting to him. So I’d have to try something else. His iPod was lying next to his watches and wallet, I turned to a Jeezy song I could really pop it to but then I realized something sexier was needed tonight. I found Dirty Diana by Prince, this would work better. Buttoning two buttons on the shirt and placing the tie around my neck I walked in the living room and placed the iPod on the dock.

“I’m here for you in whatever way you need me to be. Right now you need to clear your mind. Let me help you do that.”

The song started, I started to step on the ottoman with my heels on but kicked them off. I whipped my hair and bit my lip, swung my hips and fell to my knees playing with the buttons on the shirt. Moving my body to the rhythm of the guitar. Opening my legs in front of him I moved my middle finger along the edge of my panty line.

Our eyes were connected, I wasn’t touching him but I could feel his heart beating. Stepping down I straddled him and placed the tie around his neck, using it for leverage I rode him like we were naked, I could feel him responding through his jeans.

“You’re the only man I’ve ever danced for. I love you.”

His lips found my neck and his hands my ass. “I’m scared. I need you, I can’t do this alone.”

I grabbed his face and stopped dancing. Wiping his tears I kissed him like I needed him. I was trying to suck and kiss his pain away. If I could make it not hurt for him I would.

“You don’t have to do this alone.”