12 Play… Her Plays

Six– Pleasure works both ways, pleasure is control. Pleasure is life in the moment! He was giving me these blasts of pleasure and I was starting to lose control, I couldn’t lose control, not yet. His fingers were moving inside of me at a pace that was breathtaking.

I needed to take back control.

“You’re hard, let see it. Take it out now! I’m going to suck your dick like I’m mad at it!”

Running my hand over the head, feeling the vein running down the side, cupping his balls. My hands were small and I knew he loved that. So I took advantage of it, I made sure he saw my hand moving. No mouth, no jacking him off. Just touching it, rubbing it, teasing it.

Seven– He loved his hair, it was soft, a good grade. Touching it made him smile, when he was eating me, playing in his hair made his tongue flick back and forth faster. His hair was like a remote control and my pussy was the TV.

“Do you want me to suck you dick like I’m mad at it?” My hand was still rubbing the head, his eyes were pleading.

“Yes!” His voice was low.

“If you want me to do that you need to promise me you want stop eating this when I’m about to cum.” My tone was serious, focused. My hand was still wrapped around his dick; my left hand was inside of me. I let him taste my fingers.

His answer was between my legs, his answer was my back against the passenger side door. His answer was my hand in his hair.

Eight- Some nights I liked it when he used his fingers, other nights all I wanted was his tongue. Tonight was a tongue night, a gentle tap on his hand and he knew what I wanted. My moaning urged him on, he loved to hear me moan. His pride was tied to my pleasure, he would be down there all night until he knew I’d cum.

“Don’t stop…. Eat this like you want me to suck your dick. Eat this like you want me to throw this condom out the window!” His voice had been in my ear, teasing me, making me wet. Now my voice was in his head pushing him to do great things with that golden tongue of his.

“I’m cuuuuuuuumiiiing……”

Nine– The smell of sex was thick in the air, his dick was even thicker hanging between the hole of his boxers. He’d done what I’d asked, I’d cum hard and he’d sucked it all up without complaint. I didn’t even want to look at my phone to see what time it was. Pleasure was taking over at the moment.

“Sit up and let your seat back and you better be hard!” His hands were on the steering wheel, I didn’t bother letting my skirt down or putting my breasts back in the proper place. Women didn’t spit so I let me mouth get wet while he was inside of me, the slurping sound thumping throughout the truck.

The harder I sucked, the more he moved in his seat, the wetter I got. The more I moved in my seat. I wanted to taste his cum, I wanted to give him the same feeling with my mouth he gave me with his but I needed it inside of me. The way it grew, the way it pushed against my throat, I needed to feel that. Ride that.

Ten– His seat was already reclined, the windows already fogged, my panties already wet beyond driving home in. They were now on the floor of the passenger side.

“You earned this pussy tonight.” My mouth found his again and straddling him felt like the most natural thing in the world. My hands on the edges of his seat, his hand on my ass, his mouth on my breast. There was no screaming, no words. Just breaths.

The feeling of him inside of me was life and death at the same time.

Life and death at the same time…

Eleven– I looked in his eyes, he looked in my eyes. I slowed down and started to grind, started to feel all the pressure he’d built up. I was supposed to get up, supposed to control the urge to feel him explode inside of me.

But lust doesn’t work like that.

Our bodies didn’t work like that.

Twelve– I love you.

Passion… Intensity… Life…

“Whenever she’s being bad I tell her, ‘Be nice Paris.’ So when I raise my voice she points her little finger at me and says, ‘Be nice mommy.’ All I can do is smile or laugh or hug her, after that it’s impossible to be mad. That little girl makes every day worth living, she’s getting bigger and taller everyday.”

I loved the glow she had in her eyes when she talked about her daughter. The way her tone changed and the features on her face softened. I knew a lot of moms and not all of them did what they did out of love, a lot of it was out of obligation and responsibility. Some of them pawned the child off on a mom or grandmother. But not her, if she was at the mall that little girl was right there in the stroller burning up credit cards with her.

I have this theory, you fall out of lust and into love with someone not because of their physical attributes but because of the person you see them as. Fuck what anyone else thinks or what anyone else see’s, it’s what you see. No matter how good or bad to the outside world, if she’s one of a kind in your eyes she’ll usually always be that.

“So men can’t say no to you and you can’t say no to a three year old? I guess life is ironic like that.” She smiled and took off her coat. Moved her hair from her face. I tried to suck in every detail without being too obvious.

“Apparently some men can say no to me since we’re meeting here right now? What’s going on with you and before you lie to me just know I can hear it in your voice, I see it in your face. Talk to me baby?” This is what I loved and hated about her at the same time, the way that she could see thru me, it was the reason I needed space. Being around her was no good for me, it consumed me. Because she was right, she did know when I was upset or sad or stressed and just seeing her smile, just touching her lips made it all better if even for a moment.

But the problem was it was only for a moment and I would spend the rest of my days waiting for that high again. A high that only she could provide.

“It’s just work stuff, nothing important.” She scooted towards me.

“I asked you not to lie to me, don’t act like you forgot who I am… Now tell me the truth!” Her smile was disarming. She touched me cheek and kissed me. I wanted to stop it, not because I didn’t want it but because I wouldn’t be able to control myself once it started but how can you control passion. How do you put chemistry in a bottle and not let it consume you?

It’s impossible, you can’t…

I could taste the peppermint on her tongue, “Kiss me like you miss me! Don’t fight it!” Her voice was low but the intensity was high.

The intensity was always high so no matter who I tried to get to replace her… I needed that same passion, that same hunger. Some men are driven by compliments or food, I was driven by heat, by moments that created moments that created memories.

Until next time…

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

The lyrics were in the background, totally out of the blue but the song made all the sense in the world.

Broken hearts are underrated….

Broken hearts are underrated.

Because broken hearts don’t really happen, it’s a myth. See, a heart can be bruised, battered, stepped on and sliced but it can never be broken. It can explode if you eat too much chicken or steak, it can stop beating if God says it’s that time but it won’t break.

We’ve all heard the saying, ‘no pain, no gain.’ And there is no truer saying on this earth. You can never love someone with all your heart if you’ve never experienced true heart bruising. Having someone rip out your heart and do everything in their power to break it only makes you more careful about who you give it access to again.

Broken hearts make for happy hearts.

It may take months, years, even a decade to rebound from the beating it takes but you will rebound. No matter what love songs say, no matter what books say. You will come back from being hurt. There are nights like last night when all I want is to have someone back in my life on a serious level but I’ve learned that settling because I’m lonely isn’t what I want in life.

I’ve known some incredibly sexy women but I knew they weren’t for me and no matter what I said or did I knew there was an expiration date on our romance. I knew my heart would end up suffering because of it and I pushed forward anyway because living a life without risk isn’t a life I’m willing to live.

So face heartbreak head on and accept it if it comes, embrace it! And learn from it.

I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving and just for the record.

I miss you…